The Schizophrenic Entrepreneur

I didn’t really know that I would be writing an anonymous assertion about this because I thought it would come from me personally, I took some times to write it out myself but it sounded like I was trying to play it safe.

I’m not ready to talk about my views publicly and I think that’s because I think about what people think of me far too much. I’m 23 and still very young but I feel like I’ve been round the block an inch because I put myself out there to try things and fail horribly.

The notion of the schizophrenic entrepreneur is essentially how I live my life, that people, including me can feel trapped being two different people at the same time every day. The meaning of the schizophrenic entrepreneur is that there are people sat at their desks right now that are living a life that they didn’t plan to. That to have meaning in life is doing what they said they would do when they were eight years old, when they were 10 years old and when you were 12 years old the lost memories of “I want to be a pilot” and “I want to be an astronaut”.

To be fair, I wanted to be a bloody pilot but I’m a designer and the thing is, I actually really like being a designer because I knew I would always be a designer because I knew design would help me be a better entrepreneur one day and by better entrepreneur I mean someone who can make a lot of money and then use that money to buy 5 years of time to explore the real thing I wanted to do and by time I mean comfortably paying for rent, food and transportation, to not rely on any other person. A year ago my plan was to start a technology company, sell it, use the money to make techno in a cool flat in Berlin and then DJ around the world.

I got a few steps there, maybe 2 out of 258 steps.

But then I don’t really know if I want to do that now because I work at a big corporate company earning great money designing technology that will destroy lives and displace the world further by helping to create products that will automate 47% of jobs by 2020 and I get quite excited about that, but isn’t that a little messed up?

The thing is is when you’re at work you can easily feel trapped throughout the day and then you can end up feeling like this is not what you should be doing, then it goes around in a circle making you unhappy.

Does this sound familiar? Are you trapped? I’m really happy in my job(s) because I get paid well and I have everything I need and by need I mean I’m a comfortable animal that is well fed and watered but I’m not happy at all and I often feel trapped inside.

Are you well fed and watered? Maybe you’re being too cautious

The schizophrenic entrepreneur is who I believe many of us are within our hearts. As a schizophrenic entrepreneur we live two lives, on the one side he goes to work and arrives at nine, he is polite and he respects all levels of management, he often blunders at the problems within the company and is aware of what could be done better. He does his work well and when he is not in disguise no one quite knows that he is in a life full of secrets.

When the clock finishes when you get home what do you think about after work or during your lunch break or during work? Is it the notion of a different life, or is this job you’re currently working at what you want today or is it just a tool to get to where you want to be in the future like my flat in Berlin? Is it one part of a longer road or is it a short part to no road, the schizophrenic entrepreneur after work is a different type of person because he is the true man or woman that he wishes to be, the schizophrenic entrepreneur on the other side.

You must take note of your schizophrenic entrepreneurial self because this is who you really are. The other side is that the person lives his life after work as he should be, he is bold, she is clever, we are creative, they are creative, we work on what we want to pursue and what we want to build. In what we do, what change we want to make in the world, whether that be to make ourselves as rich and as wild as our wildest dreams or whether it’s to make every homeless person in the world feel cared for, it doesn’t matter what you want to be because no real goal is never too small.

Should I bother anyone else, I know that if you are living a life of schizophrenic driven entrepreneurship then you’re not being true to yourself and you will never be satisfied, you will not be happy. I appreciate that being a schizophrenic entrepreneur is a tough game, it isn’t practical “doing what you love” and I don’t really know what doing what you love is yet I just like making cool things that so I guess I’m doing that thing already.

If you feel like you’re a schizophrenic entrepreneur, someone who is different to who they are during the day because then you need to make a bigger and bolder decision about who you are all of the time.

“I’m at one with the force, the force is with me”