Loving ≠ Listening

Anxious Ambivert
Jul 25, 2017 · 2 min read

In my dictionary listening to someone does not just mean lending a ear or to hear someone out. It also means to adhere or to follow something or someone. People often confuse listening to obeying like how they confuse listening to loving.

How many times have you heard someone tell you — “ If you love me you will do this for me”. That someone could be a parent, a friend, spouse or a partner. I have been on the receiving side too. As an Indian child I was tuned to believe that if you love someone then the only way to prove it is to listen to them.

It’s a very difficult practice to break. Why is it hard for people to accept the fact love comes with it’s share of heartbreak? It can be any form of relationship and it comes with it’s own share of pain, even something as pure as a puppy & human relationship or a mother & child relationship.

I love my parents to bits, to death (or whatever the current generation would call extreme love- #baemax?) and I know they love me too. The love is pure and unconditional and we will always wish the best for each other but that does not mean I should strictly follow whatever they tell me or ask me to do! There’s a reason why its called a family and not a laboratory. There is a notion in our society’s mind that you are a good wife/daughter only if you listen to your husband/parents (but a husband is called a wuss if he does the same to his wife but let’s not go there now!) Why do we label people like that? Who decides what is good and what is bad? Why is so difficult for us to let our loved ones make their own choices and to be there for them when they slip and not say “I told you so”.

Life would be a lot easier if people accept things the way they are. Love is not about following rules or sticking to a manual or about emotional blackmails. It is all about trusting, knowing when to hold and when to let go! :)

Note: My first ever public post :D Do write to me if I have goofed up or even if it actually made sense! Will push me to do this again. Thanks! :)

Anxious Ambivert

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Over thinker | Art Lover | Secret Keeper |

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