Hello! I am Emina, and I am going talk about a weird, hollow feeling that you get when you are alone and lonely.
Today, we are so technology driven we use our phones a lot. Ask yourself how many hours do you sit quietly with yourself following your hobby or enjoying a cup of coffee watching rainfall from your window. These are the tasks done to avoid exhaustion and for discovering yourself, but now-a-days it seemed to be have left limited up to movies or our past generations. Social life has made us fear ‘being alone’, why?
I used to feel lonely, and I will explain the reason to you. It is because of past trauma and stress. If you are working in an environment constantly putting you up for competition, the stress to constantly achieve something maybe for your reputation, appreciation from family , not being titled failed is very hard and unhealthy.
If you are in such an environment and constantly feel judge, ask yourself is ‘it worth it?’. I have seen many people working very hard for achieving something and competing with millions of people just to realize someone is better than them. They lone out themselves from any social life just to work hard and achieve their goals, and when they realize that they are not getting it, depression hits hard. I have too gone through this.
If you feel this way then just remember:
In this world of 8 billion people, someone is going to be better than you, and it’s okay. Life is not about comparing yourself to anyone else or for that matter even to yourself instead life is about to be happy and healthy.
Many times you might feel life is unfair to you for your work life, college life or personal life; remember
“ if life is unfair to you, be the only fair in your life. ”
Practically speaking, you are not alone. There are around 40 trillion bacteria living inside you. So you are carrying more than trillions of lives with you. But, even with the feeling of loneliness you are not alone. Just tried cracking a joke. Do let me know if you smiled.
I have a solution that may work for self discovery-
Make a ‘Who Am I ?’ notebook.
Take a notebook or dairy on first page creatively write your name. It could be your real name or just a pet name it could be anything. Write your 5 hobbies underneath, don’t feel pressurize to write productive hobbies. Now write a pledge to yourself in the book “I _____ am committing ___ mins of my life to write to you everyday.”
You might think I am just asking you to write a Dairy or journal but trust me its not — write about your day or trauma. Now fix a time of the day when you feel low or have a little time to breathe this time could be anywhere from 10min to 30mins. Now, each day at the set time you come to this book and write about yourself or your views. If you are short on topics, let me list some-
- Who am I?- This is an incomplete topic, because I assume if you are doing this you are on your way to self discovery. So, write whatever you feel at that time and leave a few pages to recollect to the topic when you are finished with the whole book.
- What do I like to eat?
- What is my favorite color and why did I choose it to be the one?- write any peculiar memory if you have with the color or any meaning to it. For example blue color means to me as a bird flying in any open sky, giving me a glimpse of freedom.
- How is my personality?- Now this may sound a little self centric to some people but there is nothing wrong in knowing your own personality. That’s the way you get to know more about yourself.
- What flaws do I have ? — You can find your flaws and try to correct them in long run. For example- ‘I get angry when someone talks to me loudly and I shout at them’; so what are the ways to correct it? May be count till ten while focusing on your breath. Try one solution with your flaw in this case focusing on breathing when the person is angry, if it does not work out, find another solution and keep trying.
Success is not about earning money or being famous, it’s about knowing yourself in-n-out. Do let me know if you have tried creating ‘MYSELF’ notebook and if yes, your experience about it; and did it work for you?
Keep smiling !
