Ladies should be seen not heard! I can’t recall how many times I’ve heard this phrase as a young girl. I was quite loquacious so you can imagine how often I needed to be reminded that women should be seen not heard.
A consciousness was being built up in my mind to reserve my opinions and not speak of them and how it was the ladylike thing to not be heard but seen. I don’t know whoever it was who came up with that idea or what their intentions were but that has done more harm and still doing more harm than good.
My mother must have been taught like that and it became her response to a child who talked too much. I’m not sure how far those words went in me, maybe that is why I found comfort in writing my thoughts when I couldn’t voice them.
Here is the truth of the matter, you can be seen be heard. It is not an either, or situation, you can do both gracefully. None should be prioritised or morally beffitting for a lady than the other. You can be both seen and heard. Whatever approach works best in the situation at hand should be employed and explored to the fullest.
If speaking is your forte, by all means speak. I feel everytime that statement is employed, it is a tactic to silence a voice and that should not be encouraged. Girls should be allowed to speak, ladies should feel free to speak, more women should speak up. You have something to say and there are people who want to hear you say it.
Many young voices have been stiffled from home because parents and caregivers did not know how to handle an expressive child.
This is generally done with the good intention to curb rudeness or even to groom the girl child to take the position of a silent party because that is what a patriachial society has projected to protect their male egos. It shouldn’t be so, inability to express oneself hinders not just the individual but disrupts their whole life.
People get into circles and they cannot express themselves verbally because they have been made to believe that women should be seen not heard.
It is wisdom to know when to speak and when to keep quiet. Choosing not to speak when you should is also a statement of it’s own. Silence is consent! If you are not consenting, constructively let your opinions be heard. God gave you a voice for a reason, it is your responsibility to use it wisely.
And if you have been quiet for too long and don’t know how to start expressing yourself, you can start by seeking healthy validations from the Word of God.
God made you whole and complete, you should reaffirm the word of God to yourself and remember that He has not given you the spirit of timidity but of power, of love and of a sound mind.
You can also get into healthy groups and communities where you can challenge yourself to be active. Take baby steps and watch your progress overtime.
In all, you are fearfully and wonderfully made by God! Feel free to express in full the greatness of His glory that is within you. Arise! Shine! You are the light of the world
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