JaneAusten18
Jul 10, 2017 · 4 min read

Dear Blac Chyna or Why Revenge Porn to Begin With?

Revenge Porn is Illegal. But …..

I don’t get revenge porn. I mean I do in that I know what it means and in the state of California revenge porn is an official crime. But as I am (beautiful) woman of a certain age, I would never pose naked, pose in sexual acts of any description or even take a selfie eating a juicy mango. Because along with things like too much fresh garlic eaten or a rancid hotdog, it’s inevitable there will be return, barking at you in a very nasty way.

I get that people crave their 15 minutes. I get that young woman feelsbeautiful and wants to show the world just how beautiful, sexual, powerful and special they are. Trust me. When I was 14, growing up with brothers and Playboy in the house, I secretly wanted to pose naked and show the world that I too was ‘just as beautiful’ but but I didn’t because…..

Because I am not a commodity, not ordinary or typical. I knew early on that I was more than an object and I could never sink to that level to feed my need to be seen and validate. And I say this, having the same female vanity anyone has. Plus if it wasn’t about that, then it is simply feeling more beautiful and powerful than everyone else and then it would be just: bragging. And that’s what unconfident people with less self-esteem do. Which I also have (a certain requisite lack of self esteem for a few minutes, on some days) but I wouldn’t act on that less self-esteem. Sure, I’d love to show off (when I was younger and frankly even now) but I don’t. Because that’s called class. To walk in this world in your own unique way and not pander or do what everyone else is doing is called integrity, a word not often searched for on Google or anywhere else.

Looking at the Playboy centerfolds in the 80’s, I suppose I thought even at fifteen, then while not taboo, my naked body was intimate and special to me and the lover (s) I would one day have. Let’s face it: if you want to get a lot of attention from the masses very quickly, be naked. And naked not like Venus di Milo subtle but like, perversely naked: having sex with someone or riding a wrecking ball or be naked while swearing a lot or being overtly disruptive in some perverse, shocking way which is again — so absolutely common.

This sort of naked, however common, is not necessarily full of depth, creative, unique or even art but if you want a lot of attention, it’s a way to go. Want to be outrageous but somehow ordinary be naked and crass way and then post it on Instagram or Twitter or your Tinder profile. You will get tons of attention.

By a lot of attention I refer to the cheapest currency of the realm (these days): clicks, hits and views and all things unreal and ephemeral. These things don’t necessarily translate into work, income or any sort of long lasting satisfaction. It is unlikely it will get you loved. But I suppose that’s not the point of it. Do most men who truly love and sexually adore their partners really want all the other men to see their intimate partners that way? Maybe. These days, what I don’t know is alot. But personally speaking, I prefer a partner that is so into me that the notion of other men seeing me, even with him, would compromise our smoky intimacy.

Homemade porn might be the norm but if you didn’t do it or record your life’s minutia, no one could perpetrate that sort of ‘revenge’ on you. Plus your children, one day, could not find those images or Goldman Sachs HR and you might be, one day, grateful for that.

In the case of Rob Kardashian vs. Blac Chyna, the latter sent a pornographic tape of her and another man in the act to make Rob realize she was moving on and wanted nothing more to do with him. Just to say, people that don’t hear you, don’t hear you no matter what you say or do, email or text to them. (On the other hand, a new mother who does this (i.e. able to nurse a newborn child, feel body proud enough to recorde her lovemaking to a man-not-the-baby-daddy? Well, more power to her then I guess; when I was a new mother with my first son, at the eight month mark, I was a basket case)

Creating home porn to begin with is like putting a tattoo on your whole face; you really should make sure it’s something that you can live with for the rest of your life. But oh the restraint it would take not to act out and be like everyone.

My advice to victims of revenge porn (male and female): just don’t do it to begin with. And I am not blaming the victim but if this is how the world works and stuff like that is proven to work against you one day then maybe just don’t do it.

JaneAusten18

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One of the last romantics; my pen name is my place to speak my truth without repercussion to my day job (writer/person).

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