It’s a cliché — and true. Starting with a step back and a look inward will help you catapult forward.

Like lots of people, I am very ambitious. I see myself as flexible and approachable, and have endless drive. A couple of years ago a few things dawned upon me that helped me realize why I was not where I wanted to be. It was a bitter pill to swallow, however the best medicine can tend to make you squirm.

In May 2012 I went on an internal leadership training course at a local David Llyod center. It was for 3 full days stretched over 3 weeks. We started with the age old blind fold and lead your partner around the building, much to the amusement of the people coming in and out, heading to tennis lessons or for a quick dip. To be honest, I rolled my eyes, who hadn’t done this before? What are we learning here? To trust colleagues? Come on!

After lots of group discussion and various tasks, we started to look at different types of leadership, we looked at different business models and where we each sat within our organization . We discussed who was good at what, who needed support and why we each approached a situation in different way.

The penultimate task was simple, our team of 5 had 6 bio’s of people sat in a hot air balloon that was plummeting towards the ground. Each person had their own merits; doctors, old people that had served the community for a life time, and youngsters ready to change the world. The instructions were simple; ‘to save the group people are going to have to jump out, one by one until it stops dropping. Please list the people by their merits as to which order they go’.

Harsh, a little crazy, but simple enough. Or so I thought. We jumped on the task. I quickly pulled the group in and explained how simple this was. ‘The youngest person has the most potential, they are the blankest canvass. The order should, without question, be oldest jump out first and work to the youngest last.’ I informed everyone that we had solved this, no problem.

The team did not agree. Bizarre. Ideas went back and forward, people ranked individuals in all kinds of ways. I was shocked, folded my arms and withdrew. I was not going to argue, just clarify my position from time to time, dig in, and ride it out.

The next, and final task was a catch up, in groups of 4 away from everyone else. Again the task was straight forward, if not a little challenging this time. One by one, we told each person in the group their strengths and weaknesses. Simple? Well, this time it got a little interesting. All the different tasks we had previously completed suddenly provided value, everyone was on the same page. The exercises we had done focusing on leadership made actions that hindered leadership clear for us to see. We had the tools to analyze each other. We went around the team and everyone was happy to tell, and hear their own faults, thanks to the earlier team building exercises.

I was expecting the usual, that I am fast paced and can be loud. I need to focus on detail. ‘I’m working on it’ was going to be my response, then we could move to the next person.

But one of the guys hit me with a left hook that I was not expecting. ‘It is difficult to give you constructive feedback and at times you are closed to other peoples opinions’. I realized this was true, shown so clearly by my attitude to the task 5 minutes earlier. I should have used that task to get the most out of the team around me, not layout my moral opinion on who should jump out of a bloody fictional balloon!

I clicked; I am not ‘Chief Exec of an Awesome Company’ because others are blind to my awesomeness, it was because I could not see my biggest flaws, that others could see. That was a tough one for me to process, and came with an unexpected emotional reaction. I cowered.