The Sexy Neighbour

Anton Wax
Anton Wax
Jul 24, 2017 · 2 min read

Since three years I am living in an house with 42 apartments. Today I wanted to exit my house through the main portal to the street with both hands packed. I was standing in front of the glass door. On the other side of the door, outside on the street, a woman, who I never had seen before. I waited because she had her hand already at the numberdial in order to either ring the bell or enter the code for opening the locked door. I was just standing and waiting. I usally do not hurry, and if I do not know someone, I will not open the door from inside. The unknown person could enter without needing a permission.

She entered a code, made obviously a mistake and entered the code again. Finally she opened the door. When she entered she was yelling something at something in her own language. I did not really understand everything. She went up the stairs to the first floor. When she finished with her shouting from above, I told her that if she would have told me those words in english, then I would have had a chance to understand her. She came back from the stairs and shouted in a psychopathic manner that I should *** and I am a *** foreigner. Obviously she do not like people from abroad. She came more distant into my 40 cm comfort zone. I clapped my hands to calm her down in between our faces. Suddenly she slapped me at my cheek, so that my glasses fell down to the street. Then I realized: I really love sexy neighbours.

Do you also love your neighbours?

P.S.: Do you think it would have changed anything, if I would have worn another t-shirt than the one that I put on that day: It is black and in huge white letters it says: “HATE ME I DON’T CARE“.

Anton Wax

Written by

Life’s a b**ch and she is beautiful

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