I’m with you on the complaints about the narcissism, vapidity, objectification, and lack of knowledge among social media fitness purveyors.
But I think your piece loses steam, efficacy, and impact when you attempt to stuff your food preferences down the reader’s throat. For example — I think kale is absolutely delicious and I eat it almost every day. It’s one of my favorite greens. I don’t massage it. I don’t even know what the fuck you’re talking about with the massage bit. I have never heard of that before.
Some people like to eat very healthy food, every day. We don’t want fries, burgers, sodas, and/or other bullshit because stuff like that starts to look disgusting after a while when one’s been on a healthy-eating path. Don’t pathologize such people with a ham-fisted “orthorexia” diagnosis (not a real thing according to the DSM) just because you’re mad at narcissistic Instagrammers.