You Can Now Buy Pornstars With Ethereum… What’s Next?
The world of cryptocurrency is not without its strange quirks and caveats. The online currency created by blockchain technology has created a world of unwarranted initial coin offerings (ICOs), overblown expectations, and a ton of shady (at best) companies boasting their “potential for growth.”
Perhaps, however, one of the strangest and inane results of this online financial phenomenon is the birth of what’s commonly referred to as “cryptocurrency trading-card games.” The idea behind these games are that you can buy a digital asset — literally a picture of something — for massive sums of cryptocurrency (Ethereum).
Yes, that’s right — people are willing to spend hundreds, sometimes thousands of dollars on a JPEG file. Sites like CryptoCelebrities (where you can buy a picture of your fav. celeb) and CryptoKitties (you get the idea), have irrefutably demonstrated that people will indeed spend money on just about anything.
To call these sites a “game” is a stretch — but it’s actually not a complete scam. As many other people have already reported, the goal of the game is easy. Purchase a digital asset with a contract on the blockchain, sell it at it higher pre-set rate, profit. Sounds great right? Except for the person unable to sell their Louis C.K. card valued at $13,000 in cryptocurrency.
So how much more ridiculous can it get? As it turns out — much, much, more ridiculous. Enter cryptopornstars. Now you can own a photo of your favorite pornstar for the low, low cost of $1,000!
Currently, the highest priced card on the site is an ass-slapping Nicole Aniston for 7.3 ETH — the equivalent of about $6,000 — $7,000. If you don’t believe me, you can check out the site yourself at cryptopornstars.co.
If you’re looking for cheap thrills though, don’t expect illicit content. That’s reserved for the people who actually own the card, you know — the hairy 45 year old porn-addicted superstar still living in his mom’s basement.
The funniest thing about all of this is that crytopornstars actually boasts more potential than the other cryptocurrency card sites. For one, it’s front end looks a hell of a lot cleaner and less cluttered than its counterparts. Also, if you own a card, you can flip it over and see an illicit gif of the said pornstar — the other sites don’t have any interaction.
The developers have gone on to say say that there’s future plans for exclusive content like porn passes and videos, as long as you purchase the card. This is actually a lot more realistic than other sites that talk about future celebrity endorsements (does anyone actually believe this?).
I’ll probably stick to Pornhub, but the site is pretty funny. Either way, the world of cryptocurrencies continues to get stranger and stranger every day.