Three Myths About Coaching That Are Keeping People Stuck
“I don’t want to be coached by a 24 year-old…” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that. Fortunately, I’m 28 so I’m OK… To people who think this way though, I say that they’re coming from an uncoachable place anyway. There is no perfect age to be a coach or to be coached. Let’s uncover a few myths about coaching that are keeping people stuck where they are.
Myth #1: Life coaches should have the perfect life
It would make sense that coaches have the life they try to get others to live. However, that’s where most people get the wrong idea. A life coach doesn’t tell anybody how to live their life. They assess where a person is at, and help that person get clear on where they want to be, and lead them there.
Ultimately, a coach shouldn’t impose their vision of life to a client. It’s up to the client to say what they want. And for most people, getting clear on what they want is the hardest part. We are conditioned to want what society has always taught us was desirable, not what we actually want.
And since life is always a process of expansion anyway, if coaches had to have the perfect life, very few people could actually be coaches. Also, if a coach had to be “better” than their clients, whatever that means, there would be no coaches for very high performers.
Myth #2: Coaches change people’s lives
While this is definitely the part of my job that excites me the most, I have to be clear about the fact that I don’t change people’s lives. People do that themselves. I’m merely a facilitator, an accelerator.
I’m gonna take the example of Usain Bolt’s coach, who by the way doesn’t run as fast as him. Just because he took Usain Bolt to a world record doesn’t mean he would take any athlete to the same level. It’s about the chemistry between two people and how coachable a person is. Coaching someone is helping them express their own potential, not copy what’s been done before.
Nevertheless, people who stay stuck for years can see a dramatic change within a few months. That’s the power of an outside look on your situation. Getting a coach is like changing the engine of your car. Ultimately, you always have your car. A coach is just like taking a Ferrari’s engine. You still have to press the gas pedal.
Myth #3: Coaches can coach themselves
This is one I see sometimes. “You want to coach people but you can’t even coach yourself.” Well, nobody can coach themselves. They can get to a certain level of success on their own for sure, but it’s not self-coaching.
For someone who succeeded without a coach, there’s no knowing where they would have got with a coach, or if they would have got there faster. My bet is they would but I can’t be certain.
Coaches need coaches as much as anyone else because coaching is also a journey into yourself. It is about getting an outside look on your situation, and an outside support for your projects. If you’re trying to “coach yourself,” you’re only getting the inside look, and therefore limiting your potential.
I could go on but I feel there are gonna be follow-ups to this article. Many people get the wrong idea with coaching and either turn themselves away from something that would accelerate their results dramatically, or reluctantly try it and show up completely uncoachable. Nobody’s life is perfect. There is always work to do, which is why coaches from all kinds of backgrounds will enter the coaching world, and bring value to it.
And if you want to experience some of my coaching in my mindset shifts, go to this link: http://mindchallenges.ontrapages.com