Calamity

Need to get out of this funk I’m in.

It’s like everyday I’m forced to start again.

The worst part, no matter how repetitious it gets

I’m still stuck in a loop and it makes me sick

I hate feeling like the dirts worth more then me

I hear people say you’re an inspiration but I disagree

I know I’m just out of it for now and it comes and goes

I know it’s all process and to take it slow

I just want it to be like 2 months from now

So I can move along peacefully and not feel like I’m about to drown

The circumstances of sadness always get the best of me

I go into seclusion and just want my thoughts with me

So much to ponder with this excursion

Especially when I consider my own life and if I deserve it

Not mentally ill or nothing just got the blues

Not going to extreme measures I just keep it cool

But my brain will think up a million ways

To kill any moment of happiness throughout my days

I can say focusing on God has helped me out a lot

Keeps me sane and stops my mind from feeling like it’s about to rot

How does one conquer such madness

How do you overcome brutal sadness

What do I do when I feel my smile slowly disappear

When I have so much to say but feel like no one wants to hear

I can’t act like it don’t weigh on me

I can’t just forget about it and let it be

I gamble with my mind and so far it’s been parlay

Greater risk greater reward each and every day

I feel tho I’m quickly running out of luck

Like I said before I get caught in that loop and I’m feeling stuck

Just need to know what God has in store, what’s the plan

Day by day I’m growing weary and feel as if I’m a weaker man

I trust in you though you’ll see me through

Take your time and keep me guided as you do what you do

-A.T