Trust Me! I’ve Won many Beer Pong Games

Written by Anthony Solorzano II
Edited by Adrian T. Quintanar

Congratulations on graduating from high school, ya freaking nerd! Guess what? Nobody cares about a piece of paper in the real world. Trust me! I’ve won many Beer Pong games since I was 15 years old.

What a weirdo! Are you seriously thinking of moving out after graduation? You ain’t street smart, huh? I have never washed my laundry. Like, ever! My mom does it for me. You really about to give up that life away to have your own living room? What do you need all that room for? Just lock the room, ya milksop!

Stop being a spaz and stay with your family. They cook for you. They do the laundry for you. They even let you bring anyone home. They don’t care how loud you get. My mom even does the girl’s laundry before they leave. It’s a full service.

You are such a geek, you don’t need a bank account. This guy I went to high school with, he was my beer plug, can turn 20 dollars into 500 dollars in less then a week. All you gotta do is get 25 other idiots to give you the same amount of money. Trust me! I gave the guy all my money and he is living like a king!

Shut up. What do you know? You’re a kid! Scam? Does it look like I read?