PinnedWoke IG Captions From Your Local Privileged InfluencerBy Anthony Solorzano Indio, California — Captions are my way of letting my audience know what type of person I am. Sure, most of my followers are thirsty wine moms fantasizing about me, but I want them to know I am more than just a chiseled body. …Music2 min read
Jun 8Beer Replacements For Beer Pong In Your 30'sBy Anthony Solorzano IIBeer1 min readBeer Replacements For Beer Pong In Your 30's----
May 20Trust Me! I’ve Won many Beer Pong GamesWritten by Anthony Solorzano II Edited by Adrian T. Quintanar Congratulations on graduating from high school, ya freaking nerd! Guess what? Nobody cares about a piece of paper in the real world. Trust me! I’ve won many Beer Pong games since I was 15 years old. What a weirdo! Are…Beer3 min read
May 13I Come From The Future To Warn You About Your DogsWritten By Anthony Solorzano II Edited by Adrian T. Quintanar I am a sleep deprived version of you sent from the future to warn you about your dogs. …Dogs3 min read
May 6How Did They Get There?Ever since I got married and moved in with my wife, I find her hair everywhere. HOW DOES IT GET HERE? I asked celebrities to see if they ever find their partner’s hair in weird places. Here’s what they said: Barack Obama — In my books. I find her hair…Celebrity2 min read
Apr 29The Rest Of Elon Musk’s Shopping ListBy Anthony Solorzano IIElon Musk1 min readThe Rest Of Elon Musk’s Shopping List----
Apr 15Allow Me To Introduce Myself, Your First White Pubic HairWhat’s good, old man? Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Big Nick, your first white pubic hair. Did you really think yelling at your co-worker Nick after he stole your name tag to give to his dog with the same name was not going to have any repercussions…Comedy Writing3 min read
Apr 8I Should Be Playing In The NBA–Just Look At My StatsHow dare you pick me last! Seriously? I run back on defense as fast as I did the time I outran the principal after popping a fart bomb in his office. Washington Elementary School legend too big for the NBA–that’s what the mom told me. What do you mean you…Comedy Writing2 min read
Apr 1Fundraising for Ukraine by Selling the Naming Rights To WWIIIThe land of the free is happy to announce the only fundraiser the country of Ukraine needs. In an effort to raise funds to help a country out of devastation, we will sell the rights to World War III. And you, the only people free to decide who to help…Ukraine3 min read
Mar 25Hey Rose From The Titanic, Remember Me? Your Husband!I need to get something off my chest. It’s been 25 years since my wife died — Rose Dawson. Hi sweetie. Remember me? Remember our 15th wedding anniversary? We had dinner in Manhattan. …Comedy2 min read
