“The Just Joking defense”

This needs to be addressed.

Consider this: You go out to brunch with your best friend, you order your favorite meal and your best friend goes like: “ oh my god, are you going to eat all that?” and all your excitement wears off, you ask your friend why they are being mean to you and then they hit you with “ I’m just joking” or “get a sense of humor”.

People who think that they can “joke” about your insecurities and trauma and can get away with it by saying that their insult is just a joke. Let me tell you that calling your insults a joke is just idiotic.

often a “joke” is viewed as a free pass to say anything and it is beyond understanding why people think that it’s okay to manipulate people into thinking that they are the real problem and make them feel guilty for calling them out. like yes, it’s obviously their fault for not having a laugh at themselves right?

Roasting is a great way to bond and we all agree on the fact that shared laughter is a fantastic way to connect. But if your joke isn’t making the other person laugh then what even is the point of you cracking that joke? if your joke offends someone and hurts their feelings is that really a joke? No, I don’t think it’s a joke.

So what should be done when you are in this situation?

• Understand that it’s not your fault: Is it really your fault? Are you really too sensitive or is your friend too insensitive to you? There’s nothing wrong with being a little sensitive. You’re allowed to have feelings and feel differently. Maybe they should ask themselves why on earth they feel it is necessary to mock you? Friends are meant to be loving and supporting and if they make you feel insecure, left out, or unwanted then it’s obvious to feel bad.
• Call them out: If you tell them how they made you feel and they start criticizing you and gaslight you into thinking that you’re just too sensitive. well, let me tell you this, nobody I repeat nobody can tell you what level of sensitivity you should have. nor then can decide your boundaries you are the one who will decide your boundaries and it’s your duty to stop others from violating your boundaries. So next time, when they hit you with a cliche you’re so sensitive. stand up for yourself and tell them to come up with a better joke because it ain’t funny. Friends respect each other’s boundaries no matter what, how much easier it would be for them to stop teasing instead of you becoming less sensitive. Constantly teasing and mocking your friends sounds like an awful thing and a lot like bullying. These kinds of people often suck out your precious kind nature like a leech and leave you broke with their toxic behavior.
• Save Yourself: If even after, so much banter they aren’t ready to understand then the only option you’re left with is moving on. Decide your priority. Decide if you want to put up with this friend? decide if this friendship is really worth fighting for if it’s costing your mental health and peace. You could potentially be contributing to some trauma that your friend is forming by not ending this friendship. Before it gets too late, knock it off!