2023 Recap
To kick off 2024, here are 5 of my favourite insights from the past year.
I don’t take much credit for these ideas — my aim is to distill some of the best lessons from much greater thinkers than myself.
Achieving more by doing less — embracing boredom
I’ve recently been reading Essentialism by Greg Mckeown. I’ve mentioned ideas from the book in previous newsletters, but the main idea behind the book is ‘less, but better’. I’ve tried implementing this principle in my life by intentionally implementing boredom into my day.
We generally view boredom as something to be avoided, but I believe that it is very necessary. Without boredom, the mind is never allowed to wander into itself.
There is a reason “shower thoughts” are so often our most creative thoughts. It is the only place where we haven’t yet normalised using a phone, and therefore it is for many people the only time where the mind has time to wander.
When we can’t tolerate boredom, we struggle with difficult tasks, and we quit when it gets difficult or when we hit a barrier.
Boredom breeds creativity and aids introspection. The ability to tolerate boredom aids difficult tasks. Embrace it.
“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” — Blaise Pascal
‘Hard to get’ doesn’t mean valuable
People often see everything that is hard to get as valuable, but that is often not the case. That new Ferrari is not serving any valuable purpose in your life, nor is upgrading from a family home to a luxury Bel-Air estate. People naturally compete for things that are difficult to attain, whether that be a sports car or a prestigious career such as investment banking or management consulting. Interestingly those two career paths which are often deemed to be some of the most competitive to enter, are also considered to be two of the most soul-sucking jobs, with demanding work hours, an endlessly competitive and hierarchical culture, and unfulfilling work in the long term. These things are hard to get, but they are not valuable.
Paradoxically, anything truly valuable is also hard to get, which blurs the distinction between valuable and not valuable things. Building a healthy body is difficult. Building mutual trust in a relationship is difficult. Strengthening your sense of self and building confidence is difficult. Raising children and creating a healthy family dynamic is difficult. Similarly, anything that is handed to you is not valuable. A classic example: the teenager who inherits a billion dollar fortune does not value money.
Work hard to achieve difficult things, but make sure that they are actually valuable.
When gratification gets too delayed
A lot of the teachings within the self improvement space are centered around delaying gratification, mostly for good reason. Our desires are usually about indulging in undisciplined acts that are detrimental to our future selves. We desire junk food that hurts our health and performance tomorrow, we desire to spend money on things that hurt our future savings, etc. As Naval Ravikant has aptly stated, things that feel good short term are bad in the long term and vice versa. However, as Chris Williamson points out, delayed gratification in the extreme means no gratification. At some point you just have to live life, and indulge in forms of pleasure without feeling guilty about its consequences.
Bill Perkins, author of Die With Zero, adds important insight to this topic. He talks about the compounding interest of positive experiences, saying that these experiences offer returns in the form of positive neurotransmitters when the memory is recalled.
While this is a very interesting frame to think about positive experiences, it does create a conflict between two compounding effects — that of money and that of experiences. It is possible that some sort of formula could be created that optimises the trade off between these two compounding effects, but instinctively I would recommend to prioritise positive experiences and their compounding effect, because I have heard many rich people on their deathbed regret not having more fun in their twenties, but I have yet to hear poor people on their deathbed regret not spending more time in the office.
There is some science behind the ‘Goggins approach’
Andrew Huberman recently appeared on Chris Williamson’s podcast, where he went into detail about the Anterior Midcingulate Cortex (aMCC) and how this part of the brain is closely tied to tenacity and willpower.
Here are the key takeaways from their discussion:
- The neuroscience research strongly indicates that the aMCC is a key hub for leaning into undesired effort.
- If people are given an easy task, the aMCC does not activate. When given undesired tasks, either physical or cognitive, aMCC activity increases dramatically.
- Keep in mind that in this context, difficult things are not necessarily undesirable. If you enjoy running, then running will not increase your tenacity and willpower.
- Stimulating this brain area makes the subject feel as if some challenge is impending and they’re going to meet that challenge. It can be described as a forward center of mass against challenge response.
- Individuals that successfully diet or resist some sort of tempting behavior experience an increase in size and activity of the aMCC over time. Those who fail experience a flat or downward trajectory of the aMCC.
- ‘Super-agers’ (people who retain cognitive and physical function into very old age) have larger aMCCs.
- An emerging theory in neuroscience is that the aMCC isn’t just about tenacity and willpower but also the will to live.
For a deeper dive on this subject, here’s the link to Huberman’s 2 hour podcast on increasing tenacity and willpower.
https://www.hubermanlab.com/episode/how-to-increase-your-willpower-and-tenacity
A common pitfall in ‘hustle culture’
I often see people become quite misguided in their quest for optimal productivity because they forget what they are optimising for. People will often categorise activities as “productive” or “unproductive” with no gray area in between, but in reality there is only gray area. If you want to make money then a social event may be less productive than working through the night, but it could definitely be the other way around if that social event provides some networking opportunities. The level of productivity associated with an action is dependent on so many variables, and the idea that social events, leisure activities, or your hobbies are non-negotiably unproductive is foolish.
A productive day for somebody who is prioritising financial success will look different from somebody who is prioritising physical health or building healthy relationships.
You need to remember what you’re optimising for. It is impossible to be productive if you don’t know what you’re trying to achieve.
The only way to build confidence is through action
A popular trend in certain self help circles is the use of affirmations. The practice can include looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself “I am smart, I am kind, I am confident.” Gathering confidence in this method may have its place, but I believe it has gained undeserved traction. If you “affirm” yourself that you are a kind person but you don’t go out of your way to help people, then you are creating delusion rather than confidence.
“You don’t become confident by shouting affirmations in the mirror, but by having a stack of undeniable proof that you are who you say you are.”
— Alex Hormozi
“Belief in yourself is overrated. Generate evidence.”
— Ryan Holiday
If you made it to the end, thank you for reading! I have been writing aobut self improvement and some tangential subjects on Substack for some time, but I’ll be sharing more and more content here on Medium from now on.
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