Day 5 of the 20430 Writing Challenge: I’m Starting a New Journey With Loving the Food I Eat

My life revolves around food.

Whether it’s the thought of not wanting it, or the thought of avoid it, I have never had a good relationship with food. That’s something I want to change.

What is my goal?

I want to develop a love for food. For as long as I could remember I have always been scared of it. Scared that it’ll make me gain weight, scared that it’ll kill me, or scared because of the number attached to the meal.

The thought of food has never been positive.

Why?

I was raised around the phrase “Food for thought”, but in a literal sense. Something I wish was metaphorical. From the age of 9 I had to consider everything I ate, and pray to God that it wasn’t something that was going to make me gain weight. Looking back makes me go, holy shit. Not only is that not normal, it. Just so happens to be a part of my culture.

What Now?

It might not seem like much, but I’ve started eating 1 meal a day with a few snacks in between. As I continue to work on myself, I’ll keep adding meals, and snacks. For right now I’m taking baby steps in recovery. I know it’s not realistic to go in all at once, I don’t want to burn out. I think this is the easiest way to ease myself to getting back on track.

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