Hoi polloi and the immortals
It’s Saturday now, I just returned from one of my dad’s elan corporate parties with a proposition from friends to go for a prodigal jaunt next weekend. I love this. I had an awe-inspiring evening and I know I’m going to be having an even ebullient weekend next week. Not just the next one, later today I’ll be meeting some of my favourite people and be doing what I am good at and which could open doors to an ever pacifying life I imagine of in my empty spaces.
I am already roused for next weekend ‘cause I love those people I’m going to be surrounded with. Amazing people excite me, they get my mental juices flowing. They are a break from monotony. You can’t do epic shit with basic people. I don’t hang with my regular friends ‘cause they all fucking pilgrims. Normal people put me to sleep. I like those people you can joke around with and have so much fun with and then have a deep conversation with and it’s not weird at all.
“I hate small talk.
I wanna talk about atoms, death, aliens, sex, magic, intellect. the meaning of life, faraway galaxies, music that makes you feel different, memories, the lies you’ve told, your flaws, your favourite scents, your childhood, what keeps you up at night, your insecurities and fears.
I like people with depth , who speak with emotion from a twisted mind. I don’t want to know ‘what’s up’.”
95% of the time when I’m smiling at my phone it’s because of something I said, not something someone sent me. I’m hilarious. People should probably learn the difference between “plot holes” and “things I didn’t like” or “things the franchise plans to explain in the future” or “things film makers didn’t think they needed to explicitly explain because they thought you had critical thinking skills”. Honestly, If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I bet they’d live a lot differently. When you look into infinity, you realize there are more important things than what people do all day.
“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”― Friedrich Nietzsche
Call it the common dwellings of reticent people but at the end of the day, it’s all smoke and mirrors. My mind is a house standing against a background of sheltering trees that cannot protect it from every whip of wind that bends quasi-romantic intellectual faculties into deviations of straight lines; rigid projections of backbones that show signs of curving or arcing over time. But I don’t worry about it.
Sometimes I imagine I’m going to walk into an arcane party and meet someone exactly I’ve been subconsciously looking for and it would be totally serendipitous, her vibrations would struck a major chord within me and our energies would musically intertwine, waltzing with each others the entire night. It’s as though the encounter is seconds away from willing itself into existence at any given moment, and had I a digital countdown, I could fold my jeans up and lay my feet in the autumn waters of a dim lit swimming pool while I gaze the ethereal dance of quanta in the night sky and changing shades of moonlit clouds, moving swiftly with the freshest breeze carrying the fireflies of my favourite music. I’d check my wrist and watch the second hand tick its way down to my rendezvous with destiny. On one hand, I’d have all the vernacular ammunition I’d ever need for a straight shot of eloquence, on the other, my most treasured emotions which I couldn’t articulate until this night. It’s not about destiny at all because Darth Vader ISN’T MY REAL DAD!!!!!!!1!! The bleakness of such habitually forgetful/inattentive dispositions unnerves me but it’s also what keeps me remembering where I am and what I’m supposed to be doing.
So in a way, musings like these have purpose. Or at least challenges I can benefit from.
Even if I loosen my grip long enough to steal an introspective moment out on the balcony, somehow I believe I’ll catch myself thinking, “I wish I’d been more assertive!” instead of idly letting life play out scene-by-scene in front of me. Maybe that’s just preconcerted apathy but my brain tends to harbor some deep-rooted necessity to keep reminding me that I shouldn’t wait for things to happen, I need to go and make them happen.
I prefer the early mornings and the late nights because that’s when natural human meditation happens, where your passions, soul, and thoughts are open as well as your ego is dropped. It’s in these moments you can empathize on these thoughts and feelings, because when the sun comes up so does your defense. Defense is a paradox you see, if you stretched out an average person’s skin over a football field to protect yourself, you would be arrested and no one would like you or trust you anymore. But it would also not let anyone get comfortable with disrespecting you.
Sometimes when you meet someone, there’s a click. I don’t believe in love at first sight but I believe in that click. Recognition. Universe works that way. Minuscule gestures, the energy in the expressions, a slightly mispronounced word or just a curve that makes you a little warmer at the heart. By the way, am I the only one who keeps concert tickets? or, I mean you cannot just throw them away they have feelings too.
You know those people who are just luminous, like they’re so beautiful and everything they do is endearing and all you can do is stare and hope that some of their light hits you someday. May be it’s not even romantic but they’re just such people, they’re humans, and they’re so beautiful that you cannot make yourself look away.
My little cousin once told me his pet poops submarines. Imagination! Fashion cannot make you sexy. Experience makes you sexy. Imagination makes people sexy. You have to train yourself, you have to study, and you have to live your life. Nothing like sock-skating with the little bro through the entire apartment.
Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them. I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations. If our vibrations don’t sooth each others, there’s just no reason for us to waste our time.
Surround yourself with people who push you, who challenge you, who make you laugh, who make you better, who make you feel. Be brave enough to let go of those who keep weighing you down. Trust your dopeness.
“Once you learn how to be happy, you won’t tolerate being around people who make you feel anything less.”
It’s time I let technology wrap me in its warm yet lucrative embrace before I go to bed. Night.