“ELON MUSK” in my shoes! WTF? Is this for real?

It’s a weird heading, right? I know. Probably your first thought as well.
Completely agree with you. High five!

Fair warning: This post is absolutely weird!
Inspired slightly by Freaky Friday (Don’t judge! It’s a nice movie to watch.)
This post is not going to add any value to your life. Didn’t add any to mine.
I am not even sure why I wrote this! And yet here I am, sharing it with the world.

The only motivation behind writing this post was my admiration for Elon Musk. I am not a fan, but a “spirited” admirer!
An admirer of his strength for taking on surreal challenges, and his perseverance to deal with all the hurdles that come with those set of challenges.
And I am just one regular person amongst the millions of his admirers.
News, articles, opinions and thoughts are published every day, left and right on this man. Ergo, what’s unique about this particular post?

Before I come to the focus of this post, let me first introduce myself.
My name is Anubhav, and I work as a conversion optimization specialist at VWO, a SaaS startup based out of New Delhi, India.
So, what is the job of a conversion optimization specialist?
A conversion optimization specialist is someone who understands how an online business works and generates ideas to optimize and improve it.
Those ideas lead to more visitors converting into customers, and an increase in business, and ultimately an increase in the overall revenue.
I can bet it is the sexiest job in the digital world right now.
Don’t believe me? Here are a couple of pointers to convince you!

Back to the theme of this post.
A few months ago, while I was reading a news article on Elon Musk, a random wild thought crossed my mind.
What if one day, Elon Musk, decided to switch roles, and for just one week did the same work, I did for a living, i.e., Elon Musk becomes a conversion optimization specialist. I know it sounds crazy and a bit obsessive. But I wondered, how would he go about “my day and my work”?
I drew a few similarities and analogies from the real world to my “parallel universe”.
I decided to pen them down in the form of this short, funny and light-hearted post.

So, if you have 6 (thanks to Medium wordspeed) minutes to spare in your busy life (probably you are not as busy as compared to Elon Musk), then please continue on reading.


Now, the situation.
What happens when Elon Musk decides to be a conversion optimization specialist, for a week?

First, some drama!

“NAME” - Wow! What an acronym from our names in reverse

The “switch” has taken place!
Let’s get down to what he is going to approach the four main aspects/tasks of my weekly work projects, differently.

Task 1 — Idea Generation!

As a conversion optimization specialist, the first task is to come up with ideas.
“Elon” has the most amazing way to come up with new ideas, i.e,

My Pot Intake Is Optimized For A “Regular” Human Brain

First, he gets high. Second, he gets “a little higher” when he starts getting ideas in his brain to optimize conversions for a customer’s business.
The high causes numbers, words and coding languages to unite together in his mind!

Here is the first idea that “Elon” came up with:
Within the industry, the specialists talk about personalizing the elements of a website. How about personalizing the cursor on the website, in the form of the customer’s hand?
Do you feel that his idea is really far-fetched? Well, get over that feeling.
It’s not you, it’s “Elon”!

Task 2 —Going Around With The Customer: “Customer Centric”

Once “Elon” is done with generating ideas, his next task involves a discussion with the customer. The ideas are required to be discussed from the aspect of feedback & approval.

Just like his ideas, “Elon” has a different approach to meeting customers.
He owns a “Tesla” (pun intended) and takes out his customers on a drive.
He does not like going on Skype calls or GoToMeeting, the regular online stuff.
Through his way, he believes he is able to spend more quality time with his customers, in the “real world”(pun intended again!)

Elon: “Hey, can you see that Virtual Playground? You know Machines made that!”
THE DASHBOARD (WITH THE OPTIMIZATION PROGRAMME), RE-IMAGINED

Task 3 — Set up, Execute & Scale-Up

Once the ideas for optimization have been finalized, they are added to an optimization plan or programme, that is tangible.

For “Elon", the next task is to make sure that the optimization programme is set up correctly.
All the ideas within the programme get executed with 99.9999923341% (Pun: Inflated efficiency of a Solar Cell) accuracy.

“Elon" has this rare trait of keeping the priority of his work above everything else and making it larger than life.
He knows how to take a project from scratch, and scale it up for millions and millions.

6 ZEROES & 1 ONE — My New Book on Scaling Up Ideas For Humanity (Because I love humans)

Task 4 — “Skyrocketing” Conversions

This is "Elon”’s favourite part of the job. He loves it!
He loves it because it brings him an immense amount of satisfaction-
He is helping out fellow human beings!

0, 1, 2, 3…. conversions are increasing! (opposite to a liftoff sequence countdown)

Task 5 — Driving the moolah!

At the end of the day, no matter how smart or hard-working one is,
everything boils down to increasing the business and ultimately, the revenue.
And “Elon” sure knows a thing or two about running businesses.
With “Elon”, a business is sure of leaving their fate on one of the best, yet eccentric minds on planet Earth.

“DOLLAR” BILLS FOR THE ECONOMY OF MARS (IF COLONIZED BY USA)

Parting Notes

This was a quick and short glimpse into my parallel universe, where I imagined Elon Musk to be in my shoes. It was fun writing this post. There is no malice or bad intentions directed towards any individual or company.
All the puns shared have been done in a good light!
I genuinely hope whoever is reading it, enjoys it thoroughly

Elon Musk —I fall short of words to describe his eccentricity and his spirit.
In my opinion, he is already one of the best optimization specialists in the real world.
All his companies, be it Tesla or Neuralink or SpaceX or the Boring Company, are optimizing the world(Universe in case of SpaceX) in some or the other way, to make it a better place for humans to live.
He has already left his mark on this world- Hate him, love him but you can’t ignore him!

(Side Thought: There should be an acronym for this phrase. Very few people on earth attract such sort of attention).

Anubhav Bittoo Narula

Written by

An Equalist. A Bibliophile. A bit of a nerd and eccentric. I love marketing and playing with softwares.

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