On Dodging the Question M

I’m sure you have all at some point or the other faced the great ‘M’arriage dilemma if you’re anywhere above 25 and have finished your Masters degree. While it is awesomely interesting for family and relatives to keep nagging you with multiple questions like:

  • When will you settle down?
  • When are you finally going to marry?
  • Ab to mummy papa ko zimmedari se mukt kar do!
  • Tumhe koi pasand hai to bata do beta!
  • Why don’t you find someone for yourself?

While it’s not always easy to dodge such questions, more so if you’re a 31 years old woman, I’ve managed to find some ways to dodge these questions.

Here are some insights:

  1. Shadi kab karogi? (When are you going to get married?)
    Jab main badi ho jaaoongi, abhi to main bachchhhi hoon! (When I grow up, right now I’m a kid myself).

This one works the best when you’re vertically challenged like me at 4' 10" and have a very innocent, child-like smiles with eyes that shine with pleasure all the time:P

2. When will you settle down? Afterall, you need to have kids at the right time too. No?

“Umm….. Not really. Main bachchhe paida karne ki machine thode hi hoon :)” (I’m not a machine to make babies).

Say this with a cheesy smile, if the person asking the question has taste for sarcasm. Say this with a very disgusted smile on your face if it’s a relative you just can’t see eye to eye with. Say this with sincerity if the inquisitive soul is educated and open minded enough for a discussion.

3. Ab to mummy papa ko zimmedari se chhutti de do!

This one is the most cliche and the one I hate the most personally. The answer is best given in a cold, calm, non-loud tone with a cutting edge and without any pause.

“My own parents have never considered me as a baggage, they are wonderful parents, fully aware of my life choices and fully supportive of all my personal decisions. They do NOT blackmail me and were free from my responsibility quite a few years ago when I started earning properly. Would you please not drag them in this conversation? Thank you.”

Trust me the look on their face is priceless when they hear you speaking this entire sentence without any qualms in one breath. It’s awesome!

4. Tumhe koi pasand hai? Nahi hai to apne aap ke liye koi dhoondh lo?

“He he he! Mujhe pasand hoga to main apne maa-baba ko bataoongi na. Aur dhoondhne ke liye main gale mein ‘single unmarried desparate to marry’ ka board laga ke ghoomoongi. Fir kaam ho jayega na?”

Disclaimer - Extremely sarcastic, use with caution. But once used, this is a fool-proof solution.

5. Problem Kya hai? Shadi kyon nahi kar letin?

“You are the problem. If you stopped pestering me so much perhpas I’d feel more positive and not pressurized around it”

Try one of these, I guarantee no nagging from the relative in question again :)