Love is not what we think it is.
I do not want to hear anyone preach me about love anymore. I abhor the articles that stack up shallow reasons about why that cute guy may be crazy about me. I am not letting dumb lovey-dovey videos on social sites sway me into fancying a Disney ending for myself. I now see clearly through the flawless clicks of smiling couples and spot the glaring void between them. I have also begun to shy away from novels that lets a man compare a woman’s body parts to a backyard orchard. No, I bluntly refuse to pin all my hopes on how every day will be dangerously romantic if you are in love. Seriously, never again! Tripping into these dreamy clouds is not a risk worth taking. You know why? Because, that is not what love is.
When we fall for a person, we imagine, get excited and even fret about how loving that person will introduce a series of ups and downs in the relationship graph. We begin looking forward to the first kiss, candlelit dinners, fluttery feels, those long strolls down a meadow. We also set our minds to handle different career choices, mismatch in perspectives, emotional turbulences, the transformation from a couple to a family, financial troubles. Weaving and tackling our way slowly through all this side by side, we think we have what it takes.
But, if truth be told, the highest highs and the lowest lows are only exceptions. It is not the amazing experiences or the rough waters that make or break the belief we put in a relationship. It is the day-to-day life that ultimately puts ‘us’ through a test. And that is what love is all about — traversing the straight lines after living through the bumps.
In reality, love is mundane. There is no other perfect word for it.
Love is indeed an adventure, but not on all days. Over time, the excitement slowly wears off. Uneventful routines kick in. Fairytale moments suddenly turn plain vanilla. Days turn predictable and there is nothing new to experience. The lack of variety begins to drain our minds and eventually, introduces a strain on love itself. Before we realize, a wall of distance and awkward silences creep in to those relaxed evenings spent together. The world of ‘us’ that was lovingly built slowly becomes two separate islands. We stop reaching out to each other; pass on sharing how our day went; get hurt on the smallest comments; at last, give in to the melancholy.
That is when love dies. It chokes itself on the air of mundanity and withers.
P.S: If you have already realized how different love is from our expectations, then do not give up. Ignore the distractions and keep fighting the occasional distances that crop up. Love each other in the midst of the mundane :) It may not be as fancy as we wanted it to be, but it will still be the most profound experience of our lifetime.