Five essential parenting advice From Sudha Murthy.

This random article I came across during my daily information run in the newspaper.

It was these words that made me read the article in detail, ‘ Do not focus only on your children.’

As parents we want to do everything that we can to get into that one extraordinary quality of our children.( p.s. I am a lazy parent in that matter too.)

As I can see many parents putting their child into sports, intellectual courses and entrepreneurial courses to refine and refine their child’s potential.

In a way it is great if these children can learn many things before they hit 18.

I do feel apart from education children do need to learn skills that they may or may not transform into careers.

But what is too much focus on children?

I came across this too much focus when my elder one who never tried swings until he was 8.

I tried many times but he never liked swinging and eventually just like many articles saying don’t push your child into things they don’t want to do.

But to my surprise, when I stopped focusing on the swing part, my younger one who is a 3-year-old loved swings.

My elder son kept observing his little brother swinging. He is 7 now and He asked me to help him once to try a swing. He tried and got scared.

So this new year, we were all in the park and I saw my elder son swinging on a swing with little speed and he said I don’t know mom, why. was I scared, swings are fun at this little speed.

I thought about what happened to him. I asked him how he did it. He said, “ I saw my little brother go so high on a swing. As you said we have to keep practising math every day to get better. I thought I would start by trying a little push on the swing.”

I was proud that he applied logic from my everyday advice and I just gave him his time.

What made me write this post is, Sudha Murthy has exactly portrayed the same principle in a little better way.

Her points start this way:

  • Give them space: Give them space to grow so they can learn decision making. I like to put my son under pressure to make decisions faster. This will help in future in critical situations like maybe he decides to become a doctor so he would need these critical decision-making skills.
  • Set Examples: Here she says children are like sponges 🧽. They absorb the positive or negative you feed in their minds. I don’t give big examples of fancy stars whom we don’t know. I give him examples of kids older than him. Never compare them with their own friends. This builds self consciousness. But when you give the example of older kids, they know how to get that habit when they reach that age.
  • Simple Living: This is not easy for everyone. We do celebrate birthdays extravagantly. There are certain things we do ourselves to portray simple living like cleaning our house by ourselves. Cooking at home and minimising orders or takeaways. Buying clothes only if necessary. These things help in the long run because these habits are also sustainable for any parent to maintain a stable emotional growth.
  • The idea of Sharing: I won’t say my kids are pro shared but we are trying. They are still young to let go some things like the last French 🍟. Yes but I think they try, some things are easily shared and some are not. But as a parent, we must keep the discussion on, on sharing. One day they will get there.
  • Smaller Decision Making: My elder kid was so unhappy with me for not letting him go to play when one of his friends tested positive for covid. He didn’t understand the idea of quarantine. He kept saying he doesn’t have a fever. So I had to explain to him and gave him a choice to decide. He chose not to go play for a few days. You don’t have to make them choose silly things. Practice involving them in little important decisions so they understand the importance of the decision making.

However practising what we read on blogs is very difficult at everyday basis.

But here is a little hack that I do to bring smaller change is, improvising the little things I do every day.

It may be allowing them to take decisions. Like we went to a wildlife park yesterday, my elder son wanted a toy just because the younger one got a foil balloon 🎈. I left him to decide what he wants, although I suggested he buy a colouring book in star wars theme he picked a stegosaurus

. Today he feels he must have chosen that colouring. This is making him sad that his decisions went wrong.

This will make him think more while making decisions.

We all know preaching to kids is an everyday task but it doesn’t have to be planned and strenuous.

One can blend it with the everyday flow with conscious parenting.

Do let me know your favourite parenting methods for positive emotional development in kids and teens.

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Have a wonderful week and see you all in my next post.

If you liked this blog you can read my book here We Are All Little Broken: Two Women and Two Different Aspirations. Find out what it takes to get what you want.



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