How to do a internship with minimum responsibilities

Mar 11 · 2 min read
  • Have a notepad, and a pen with you. Whenever someone is giving you a advice strategically pretend write in the notepad
  • Never volunteer for any form of activities
  • When there is anything going on just pull out a chair and watch it from a reasonable distance
  • Whilst watching the activity try to learn something, note it down. If you think they are doing it wrong, secretly smile pretentiously but DO NOT volunteer or give unwanted advice
  • Never volunteer for anything
  • If you are talking with someone unless you are explicitly asked something about the organisation do not talk about the organisation
  • Every hour or so pretend walk nervously in front of the manager or whoever in charge. Make sure they notice you, but do it subtly
  • Do not volunteer for anything. Do not talk with anyone unless they approach you. When they approach you be as charming as possible
  • Find a sweet spot where you can hide out and watch movies or do something actually useful, but still be subtly noticeable and hear out people if they need you
  • Do not volunteer or talk with anyone
  • When given a task which require you to go outside the office alone waste a significant amount of time. Make up random reasons and try to emphasis how difficult the task was but you still succeeded
  • Never be proactive
  • If you want to casually talk with anyone or network always do it outside office hours or during break. Do not try to stand and talk. Walk with them, when they stand to talk with you, you are networking successfully. But do not bring up and avoid talking about office things. Unless they bring up the topic. Say something positive and change the subject subtly. Sports, basic politics, regulation impact, hobbies, professional certificates (only if the listener has that) etc. Avoid talking about technology, all accountant (except for partners and directors) deep down inside hate talking about technologies.
  • Try to generally compliment the work environment, never criticize it. Keep compliment short and enticing so that the listener can contribute more to the discussion
  • If given a task never ever overdo it. Never criticize the status quo, and of course do not try to implement your “undergrad modern thesis idea that will revolutionize traditional workspace”!!
  • Make friends with alumni in the office by talking about your interesting faculties. Do not criticize them unless they are doing it. Do not overdo anything. Let them talk.
  • Your goal should be to leave a positive or at least neutral impression on the office. You do it by not being proactive and by being introverted.

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Freelance Python Developer. Web Scraper. Learning Data Analytics & Viz, and Web dev.