Months after, I opened my Medium account and found a bunch of unpublished entries. I would like to post it but I chose to read it first and know what? It was too depressing to read like it’s not good for others to see. So I’ve decided to revise it; rewrite this entry, polish this, improve that. At the end, it just became worse. So I read every entry that I rewrite, and… suddenly my tears started to fall down. The revised entries is more detailed, as if I experienced again what happened that moment.

It was about my breakdowns, I suddenly remembered that I wrote everything when I stopped asking help from others even it feels like dying, I stopped showing that I’m not okay even it feels like hell to breathe, I stopped for I know, no one really cares. The last time I opened up to someone is when the time I realized that not all people who asks you if you’re okay is concern about you, it is more like their concern to the story of why you’re like that.

They say, crying is the best medicine to our agony. I say, it is not. It is just like a pain reliever, it will numb the pain but it won’t heal it. Forgive and forget, live your life for yourself and always learn to let go. These three things will help you grow and live a peaceful life.

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