I am so sorry for what you had to go through. Trauma, especially, sexual trauma leaves scars that may never fully heal. Perhaps your parents and you could have repaired the fractured relationship if you had told them about this 20 years ago. Forgiveness takes a long time, as I’m sure you know by now. But given how old they must be now, do you really think it’s worth it to have them live out the rest of their years hating themselves for having failed to protect you? I know that you’re angry with them and you have every right to be but they didn’t know that you were being subjected to such violence and if they had known, it’s unlikely that they wouldn’t have stepped in. You’re only 42 and you have the rest of your life ahead of you to make of what you will. Do not let that awful perpetrator get the better of you by letting his despicable actions dictate your future. Potential can be realised at any time — so please go out there and start living yours. It won’t be easy but nothing worth having ever is.