10 Tips & Tricks Guaranteed to Make Your Dick BIGGER!
Lately I’ve been feeling the need to adjust my personal writing style. Maybe it’s all of the slightly sensationalized, over-hyped headlines common on Medium these day. You know the ones…”Seven Things That ALL Successful CEO's Have In Common”. Or “Do These Three Things To Strike It Rich”. I’ve read these articles and time and time again I am underwhelmed at the actual value of the content.
It might also be partly to do with how many seemingly legitimate news site have taken to using click bait to lure readers deeper into their sites. Who of us hasn’t been tempted to click HERE, to find out what an aging celebrity looks like now? Hyped stories are everywhere so maybe it’s time to write a few of my own.
So here it is…10 Tips and Tricks that are all guaranteed to make your dick bigger.
Number 1…Manscape. It just makes sense. If you remove or reduce the ‘undergrowth’ you’ll see more of the tree. See…simple.
Number 2…Select your snacks with caution. If you’re serving pork tenderloin, German sausage or burritos you’re done for. Set out a tray of gherkins and baby carrots and you’re suddenly a giant among men. Pretzels are perfect. Nothing larger than a Cheetos.
Number 3…Rearview mirrors. Obviously we’re talking about the ones that include the text ‘Objects in mirror are closer than they appear’. This strategy works better for some sexual positions than others.
Number 4…Power of positive thinking. If you truly believe that you’re ‘gifted’ you might just get your partner to think you are too. Careful to not over-swagger…find a balance.
Number 5…Socks in your shorts. Yeah, I know…kind of desperate. But sometimes desperate moves can be effective. Careful of the ‘over promise, under deliver’ syndrome.
Number 6…Magnifying glasses. It’s up to you to get her to wear them, but once they’re on you’ll be aces.
Number 7…Similar to number 2 but not snack related. Handle objects that give you a scale advantage. Avoid holding objects larger than a pen. Certainly no power tools or appliances…and absolutely no sex toys. None of us needs to try and live up to that expectation. Keys, pens, chess pieces, dice…these are all dick comparison friendly.
Number 8…Posters. Head down to your local drugstore and have them print out an enlarged dick pic. Never mind that the 11” x 17” wall poster might be a little misleading…if you play your cards right it’ll be too dark for her to compare.
Number 9…Turn up the heat. We all know the effect that cold air or water can have on our equipment. Try the reverse. Turn up the heat and see if you can get Willy to rise to the occasion.
Number 10…Get her closer to it. Everything looks bigger the closer you get. The side benefits of this approach should be self-evident.
There you have it. 10 rock solid suggestions to get you feeling more confident than ever about your junk. Decades, if not centuries of knowledge, all based on real life experience of real live men. You’re welcome.