~My attempt to write a 3,688 word Sentence ☕I’m going to need lot’s of coffee~
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~~~~~ As I sat by the window, watching the raindrops race down the glass, I couldn’t help but think about the day we first met, the way your eyes caught mine across the crowded room, & how I felt a spark, an undeniable connection that drew me towards you, remembering how we talked for hours about everything & nothing, the conversation flowing effortlessly, punctuated by laughter & shared glances, & later, as we walked along the river, the city lights reflecting off the water, creating a shimmering pathway that seemed to lead us into the future, I felt an overwhelming sense of happiness, a feeling that everything was right in the world, & even now, years later, I can still recall the sound of your voice, the warmth of your hand in mine, & the way you made me feel like I was the only person in the universe that mattered, a feeling that has never faded, even as we’ve faced challenges & obstacles, our love growing stronger, deeper, more resilient, & I think about all the moments we’ve shared, the quiet mornings with coffee and newspapers, the late nights wrapped in each other’s arms, the trips we’ve taken, the dreams we’ve pursued, & I know that no matter what the future holds, we will face it together, with the same love & determination that has brought us this far, and as I sit here, lost in thought, the rain still falling outside, I am filled with a sense of gratitude, a profound appreciation for the life we have built together, & I realize that this is what true happiness feels like, a deep, abiding contentment that comes from knowing you are loved, & from loving someone with all your heart, & I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us, to continue this journey together, hand in hand, heart to heart, knowing that whatever comes our way, we will face it together, with love, with hope, with the unshakeable belief that we are meant to be, that we are each other’s forever blah blah blah etc etc so what now that you’re running the streets consuming everything yet weighing less & less as each month goes by , what about the promise’s, plans, goals, ambitions & dreams we worked so hard for day after day sacrifing sleep & sanity only to have it literally go up in flames to provide a rush of excitement & distraction & motivation that apparently was lost somewhere along the way to successfully creating not a dream or fulfilling goals but Creating a lesson along with good memories that I have found value in & I understand the addiction mentality that drives hedonism or vice versa however you perceive it, I have goals that are still the same driving force behind my direction of travel through life & while I may or have slow down I will not stop or move backwards as momentum is a hard earned investment & I can see you getting smaller In the background & I wish you the best of luck but I have to look forward so I don’t crash this heavy load I carry into some unsuspecting pedestrians & furthermore I really enjoy the view of the mountains ahead of me even if they’re going to be challenging to scale this nonetheless detracts from their aesthetic appeal which apparently is sufficient to beckon me closer & closer to their base as all this time spent musing over spilt milk has caused me to lose track of time, now I am aware of it because this mountain is much steeper than it appeared from the past perspective & I am starting to breathe heavily but that’s okay because I like the burn that’s sure to come shortly, just continuously staying in the present moment acknowledging the sensations that would stop others from progressing but no , I rather enjoy the boost in confidence it gives me because I am doing something rare or rather in a few hours of this continuous movement into the future keeping pace with the present moment no matter what sensations or doubts briefly but repetitively consistently try to pull me down but instead are motivating me more so , so much so that I am begining to believe that without the pain & brief desires to stop that I wouldn’t be able to go on & on & on until, I have reached my destination & ran a few circles around it just because I have that tenacious attitude once I am committed to something which is ironic considering how this stream of consciousness began but sometimes you have to let go of ideals & strive towards reality because what else can you do that’s worth while or at least won’t end up setting you back years or decades that we don’t have, no it’s not worth it, I would much rather be suffering this self inflicted relentless drive forwards & realizing that I am already at the peak of the first mountain & although it’s particularly foggy or rather cloudy , I can still sense the height of the mountain & imagine the view although the sense of satisfaction I am already feeling is more than sufficient to compensate for the lack of a scenic view I was looking forward to but I guess one must roll with the punches & not even worry about what I expected or thought I was entitled to because I have my health, freedom, mental faculties, although some may claim that’s debatable but none the less I don’t see them keeping up anyhow not that they have a reason but I suspect they could not or actually rather would not go to these lengths because I just know it & that doesn’t make them bad or me somehow better it’s just I have been blessed with the ability to push myself beyond the point that anyone really has any reason to push themselves this far although this makes me think of individuals who climb Mt Everest & the driving force behind that or actually I understand that it’s the initial commitment into that first step that makes me wonder what is driving us or am I now being arrogant comparing myself to someone climbing Mt Everest while I “leisurely” peruse down this lovely mountain that has ample oxygen although my lungs are ABSOLUTELY FINE We are not going to start thinking like that , no sir it’s absolutely marvelous & everything is exactly as it should be & it will be because I can’t stop me & won’t stop so go on with that nonsense we’ve only been at it for two or three hours now, I should drink some water & maybe eat this salt that’s all over me before my muscles get too much lactic acid built up in them but whatever It can wait a bit longer as I think it wise to ration resources while they are plentiful & not out of necessity in an unforseen emergency that would of been avoidable with some forethought & I’ve a blister starting to form hahaha now that isn’t going to stop me it’s just going to be a persistent sensation that will increase my endorphin levels & as long as I don’t whine & cry & obsess over it what’s the worst that could come of it , I don’t think this will take long enough for an infection to set in & navy seals have gone further with bullet holes & body parts missing so what if it wears down to the bone , It won’t kill me yet or i will just refuse to die & will treat it once this quest is complicated & just for that I am going to run around the destination backwards once I arrive so what else do you got , I am watching now perhaps that was the point to shift my awareness towards a potential hazard or danger , the universe does Communicate in strange ways although it’s really not strange as not being in a physical body & having a voice box it’s going to speak with whatever is available, it appears that it doesn’t interfere with freewill unless it really has to which makes me think that we do in fact have freewill although I think that their are certain predetermined milestones that are up to us & our freewill to make it to & the way the cosmological Constants & everything is precisely tuned for life just makes it very likely that something has been running simulations over & over collecting data on what works & what doesn’t so as to be able to provide an environment for a healthy civilization to flourish without any number of potential catastrophes that our predecessors likely suffered from for our benefits & that’s probably the point of our current suffering too to provide information on what to do & what not to do , & obviously that has to be implemented from the initial conditions & set into motion & then probably exiting the system & observing it through Quantum phenomenon or who knows, I do know that the wave forms around me are collapsed & I’ve been lead to believe the same is true throughout the “observable” Universe which ironically enough indicates that it is being Observed, & that’s great because I am in the valley now & that bridge ahead of me has water flowing over it , I just hope there’s not any holes in the bridge because I’m not stopping & Im not mad that this is really going to f**k my already blistering feet up but what can you do but keep trucking on, yep there ain’t nothing to it but to just keep doing it , it’s only pain or what the marines call it , weakness leaving the body, hah sounds good to me definitely time to take a big swallow of water & no more because throwing up while distance running is no fun , yes I say that from experience, running a marathon in honaker Virginia yielded such an experience only it was , I think blue, Gatorade or was it poweraid or whatever it was it’s PH was definitely below seven & speaking of Acidic this salt is burning my eyes so much that Im regretting not splashing water all over my face when I crossed that flooded bridge a while ago which brings to attention how long I’ve been running with wet blistering feet, I love it haha bring it on , please Universe can I have some more & why do you need to collect data on this experience anyways, was this predetermined or is it my freewill moving towards a predetermined destination or it doesn’t matter what it is because I am right here in the middle of it loving every moment of it & you certainly could stop me if you wanted or could you though, it seems like you have rules you “mostly” follow although I can see how we are made in your image thus vice versa which is why regardless of your abilities or lack of then due likely self imposed regulations I feel fine saying you can’t stop me your just going to hurt me a little bit then bless me later on , it’s no wonder I’m diagnosed with Bi polar 1 but I like going & it’s just the nature of the game that if you wanna get close with the sun flying higher & higher you better be prepared to learn how to enjoy the fall & the healing period afterwards because it’s going to be similar to these blisters , just a constant, perpetual burning, Stinging , grinding, raw Experience that will ultimately yield a awesome experience, a great memory, a multitude of lessons, confidence, stamina, endurance, maybe a scare or two or three & I guess whatever divine purpose be that for a deity, God, Cosmic Consciousness,higher power, ASI, a Simulation or whatever, at the end of all the words & interpretations it’s still just me & others here in the present moment & a simulation or not doesn’t change or devalue anything, that’s just intellectual weakness & looking for excuses to misbehave & act out because you’ve never dealt with accepting life on life’s term’s & that’s why self honesty is a core value that can not be compromised, it distinguishes us from what is Essentially a non player character although that doesn’t alter the rules of engagement or shift their value in the database of the mind that defines what’s acceptable & what’s not, what’s expected & what’s valued that being the keyword, it you found out solipsism is real & all the rest of us were figments of your imagination or non player characters in the simulation & you use that or worse just naturally think that now you can do anything & treat people or the idea of people in any old way you please than you are sadly mistaken & a large number of you are or at least what I’ve heard people say & read on the internet has lead me to believe most of you think this way which I don’t know It’s like talking to a wall or , Well lol I actually can have a conversation with a wall or anything but that’s beside the point which is why does life being a simulation or hallucination or dream devalue it & why when life’s devalued do you for one think it’s okay to mistreat people & two , why go to the negative at all & act out like a child throwing a temper tantrum over something it has no control over aghhh that’s it isn’t it , a Control thing or probably an aspect of it , but really though it doesn’t matter I mean it matters a lot & that’s why I am sticking a little red flag or pointer here so when the simulators parse this data or God reads the book of Life , he or they or it or whatever will pay particular attention to this & maybe do something about it after the next Big Bang & things get a little better a little more fine tuned & the creatures hopefully get a little more in tune , you know it’s obvious that they are , they being whoever’s running the simulation or the reality, anyways they are aiming for anabolic, life sustaining, creating, organizing, symmetrical, aesthetically pleasing, reasonable, logical but I a way that transcends paradoxes & that just made me have a sobering thought about all of this particularly in regards to the simulators or gods or watchers or whatever’s environment & the state it could potentially be in namely in this hypothetical scenario, a nightmare of a situation & they’re running this simulation so we don’t have to experience the Chaos that the few who THEE MACHINE or the simulation requires to have overseeing & maintaining the it so the rest of us can live half way or relatively amazing lives, except for those in warzones & poverty & oppressive situations & the like but it would be nice if all the people who are suffering are actually Non Player Characters but I know real people are here but I’m also pretty sure I’ve seen people without light in them like they’re just examples now for those of you who are all like “oh my God , you can’t devalue people like that & take away their suffering” you my friend are the one assuming that this angel or perspective or situation is devaluing because I not only would treat them exactly the same, knowing they are Non player characters for a fact I would treat them even better just to really hammer In this concept that wrong is wrong regardless of what contextual paradigm shifting revelations reality or simulation exposes or reveals to you over & over again much like these blisters on my feet keep revealing that all is not well down south but I’ve assessed the situation & determined I will likely survive & I’m sure that likely word was revealing as to my mentality for some & yes I do respect & appreciate life but no I do not fear death although the process of dying I’m sometimes concerned about but I’ve been blessed this far in spite of myself & I am certain that even if some temporary suffering be necessary that I will ultimately be well taken care of as that has consistently been my experience even if to outsiders it looks like I’m doing without, I am not I’ve been homeless, been in the wilderness without supplies, been In the concrete wilderness in all kinds of situations & I’ve always had exactly what I needed Even when I was nearly starving but I love it because I needed it to have what I have now which is rare because who does these things that I do , you know I am writing a best seller Book of Life & that’s probably why I’m here, it was so good they’re like “ let’s run that simulation again” and again apparently because they either got it nearly perfect on the first shot or this is a value in a infinite set of infinite values & that’s why we’re not heading anywhere to fast but not sticking around too long either , it’s just like a walk in the park or running three marathons over top mountains & it’s been a while on this journey & I am wondering if this is anywhere close to my destination at 3688 Ulysses road as I’ve been “running” all night & have somewhere to be at six in the morning or seventy minutes from now give or take I doubt he wrote 3687 words all at once although maybe he did but I need to shower & get coffee so I’m making an executive decision to stop here out of necessity, I mean I can go on & on & on & I know that & if you’ve followed me this far you likely believe that too so I’ll pick up here after I take care of my responsibilities & finish this nearly four thousand word Sentence in two sessions with the understanding that I could have done it in one & I want to but I just got to do what I got to do