When you get everything you ever wanted.

It has been a rather eventful day.
 Monumental, I dare say, in the larger scheme of things.
 Some day, when I’m on my deathbed, hopefully when I’m old & gray
 And snippets from my life start flashing before me
 A series of firsts
 A series of lasts
 Every time my
 voice choked
 heart stopped
 tears flowed
 world rocked
 I know this day will come up
 Secure as ever
 In its knowledge of my better days, worse days, but none quite like it.
 
 Have you ever wondered what it’s like to get everything you ever wanted?
 Everything you have dreamed of, neatly assembled on a platter
 with extra attention to presentation
 and handed over to you
 as you stand there dumbfounded.
 Eye of the storm
 Queen of the fucking universe.
 
 Luck. Fortune. Privilege. Illusion. Reward. 
 Call it what you want.
 They’re all true, they’re all lies.
 
 I walk.

Processing
 Practicing my queenly gait
 Coming to terms with my power
 Is this what the primitive man felt like when he first discovered fire?
 Feels like it.
 
 So this is what it’s like.
 You’ve wanted this for years.
 Feel it.
 Dance with joy, cry with happiness, be the loud proud crowd.
 You can’t feel…..sad?!?!

I walk.

She was so very tiny
 Taking up the littlest space
 Barely reaching knees as they walked on either sides
 Sitting still, in the midst of all the frenzy
 Eye of the storm
 Queen of the fucking universe.
 
 She turned around, like she knew I was there.
 Secure in her knowledge of my great day, great life
 And looked me in the eye as I stopped in my tracks
 Drawn to her like moth to a flame
 Legs heavy with questions only she could answer.
 
 She held a child smaller than her.
 As small as can be.
 “Just like your dolls, remember?”
 She smiled as I bent down at her
 
 Never forget — 
 Child of circumstance
 Kissed by luck
 Flirting with fate
 Queen of the fucking universe
 — about what you saw in my eyes.
 “I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.”