A rewrite.

We all need one. That cannot be questioned. But how many do we deserve or will it take before a net positive change occurs? It takes a lot to turn it around. Somewhere among the self-hate, self loathing, and darkness we have to search. By searching we are digging. Deep. In between that part that we swear we aren’t and that part we were for a moment. The things I do aren’t me. Well, except for the good ones right?

We are diseased by our misdeeds. A disease turns into a cancer quickly. Disease is treatable as are most cancers are. We shouldn’t fool ourselves though, most of us can’t decipher the side effects between the two. The reality is we don’t know when we’ve crossed over from a temporary sickness to a state of defective character. Our character is worth a lot. It is our interpersonal currency. Why do we forfeit our self worth inch by inch with silly indiscretions that turn into character eating cancer? Selfishness of course. It was what we wanted in that moment. The self indulgence, crumbling of worth, and turmoil is the hurt that has been lying in wait. The hurt creeps, and then strikes us like a snake and the pain radiates like a blade in our ribs.

A visit to the depths of darkness reveal that forgiveness is the only way out. Unfortunately, self forgiveness is not taught at your local library on Saturdays. Forgiveness is your rewrite. It’s the first step towards turning it around. The ache is still there. We are fully aware of the pain and it’s numbness isn’t lingering in our subconsciousness anymore. It’s where we stop in our tracks look around and realize you’re off course. A ticket of admittance to the forgiveness show isn’t cheap. There is the pain of realization of what we’ve done to ourselves and to those around us. The collateral damage of our carelessness pulls relationships out to sea like a rip current. Forgiveness turns the rip current into a manageable swell. Over time the swell becomes calm waters and we begin to heal.

It’s time to put our malefaction before us to move it behind us. It is time to unravel the workings of the disease. Dismantle it brick by brick and let it fall worthlessly to the ground. First you realize you were pouring gasoline on the fire. Then you take a look around and look at the immersible flames you’ve fueled. And then you put your hand on the valve and slowly siphon the fuel off. Relief. Now is the time to take those critical steps and find healing.

Vindication is forged with the a change in the way we view our misdeeds. It isn’t a pass on the offense that was and is, but rather an acceptance of what we’ve done and an acknowledgement that we are better than our indiscretion. It is owning the imprudent decision(s) and giving ourselves a chance to move forward. Turning away from reckless decisions to ones of stability implore growth. The emptiness has to be filled or the tide will rise once again. The fulfillment of the open space where the hurt lived will allow you to nourish your soul.

We all need a pass to move forward. The casualty of imprudence is nothing to mourn. It is a time to celebrate. We are what we do which presents the question: Which you do you want to be? Forgive yourself and get your rewrite.