GoT and the Twenties
My later teens were about Harry Potter. They were about finding my Hogwarts and finding my magical story. When it ended, I felt there would be nothing that could fill the void. But then came the twenties, which were about the realisation that life is not as perfect a fantasy as Harry Potter. The twenties were about the acceptance that life is less about magic and more about chaos. The twenties were about GoT.
As Hotstar doles out an unprecedented series of promotional videos for the Final Season during IPL and over billboards across India, I am left wondering whether I want to revise the old seasons again. For old times’ sake? For the sake of proper closure? I tried many times but could not convince myself to put in the 67-hour investment to do a full recap. So instead, I decided to recap my twenties through GoT.
March 2012. It was college final year, final semester. I had never been a tv series watcher in college. The idea of sitting alone in a room binging on a tv show instead of ‘living’ the limited time that we had in college used to unnerve me (yes, #fomo). I was mostly dancing around (literally) in college. But then in March 2012 — final year, final sem — I had time. There were no dances to dance and very little studies to study. I had not invested enough time to be part of the hostel AoE gang. So to kill time, I looked out for a TV series. I was always fascinated by stories of werewolves since childhood, including Twilight (yes).
I asked a TV series expert friend if there was any series about werewolves — he suggested watching Game of Thrones. It has direwolves (whatever that meant). My first impression was that the title is weird and I do not want to watch some stupid story about some stupid games. I want serious stuff. But he insisted — “..there is only one season. Even if you don’t like it, it is not a big investment.” Legit. So I downloaded Season 1 on LAN at 10 pm. I sat down to watch a couple of episodes before sleeping. I ended up watching it until breakfast in the morning. Season One — Done. That is how the journey of my twenties began. And for each major phase in my life in the twenties, I have a GoT memory associated with it.
April 2012. I was doing BTP with the same guy who suggested me GoT. One evening after completing lab work (there were few such evenings when we actually worked, we did a shitty BTP otherwise), I told him that I cannot wait for Season 2 — due in a couple of weeks. He suggested me to read the books. There are BOOKS!?? Yes, he said, and five of them. A couple of hours and dinner later, I started reading the books. By the time season 2 started, I had finished book 2 (skipped book 1) and half-finished book 3. I was the spoiler guy of the hostel — and somehow I loved being it. Season 2 was mostly watched with friends, in the afternoon after classes (as there were few of them), often followed by an IPL match.
Season 2 ended and so did college. My joining at my first job at a hedge fund was almost immediate — June 1, 2012. I read the books at every opportunity in Gurgaon, having just started my first job, having just started to live at a place which did not parents or a warden for the first time in life. By the time July ended, I was done with all the books. I had even posted spoilers like ’Tyrion weds Sansa’, ’The Red Wedding’ and ’No, not Jon Snow!!!’ by July 2012 on Facebook.
Cut to April 2013. Life had moved on. For the first time in my life, I had started to wonder what I really want to do with my life. And season 3 was coming. So I sat with my flatmates to proselytise them. I made them watch (and watched with them) seasons 1 and 2 before season 3 could come, on my Sony speakers (I had almost forgotten that I had them in life until I wrote this), in my room — pausing the video multiple times to explain the story better (with insights from the book). And then Season 3 came and went. And by the time it was done, I had resigned from my first job.
Cut to April 2014. Life had moved on. I had gone on vanvas — also known as leaving a job and studying for civil services. That included taking home in a part of Delhi (Moti Nagar) where I had never been before, where I knew nobody, cutting off all social media ties, abandoning my social life, switching off my smartphone and putting it in a locker — To. Just. Study. Even in this life of hermitage, there was one mortal desire which could not be abandoned — GoT Season 4. I had classes from 8 am. And Modiji was about to become the PM of India. I tried to optimise every minute of my life those days (modelling myself on 17 hour workday of Modiji). So I used to wake up at 06.30 — go to the park to do skipping (I had just watched Farhan Akhtar do it in Bhaag Milkha Bhaag), then do a fixed number of ab-crunches (I had to get those 6-packs, right!), pushups and leg raise. At 7.15 am, I would start the water of the tap to fill the bucket for the bath. Then I would bring out the locked smartphone, and open it to create WiFi hotspot — google the episode torrent link — start Download. By the time I performed these chores, the bucket was full and I would go to bathe. By the time I came out of the bath — the cook would have had the breakfast and coffee ready, while the download would be complete. I would finish the meal and leave for class at 07.40. Classes started at 8 would get over at around 10 (if I remember correctly). I would almost run back home, open my laptop, frantically download the subtitles from subscene, and then that magical sound — dhen ten tana dhen ten (play GoT opening credits in your head).
Cut to April 2015. Civil Services Exam has a long cycle. But I have persisted through and cleared the mains and got an interview call. I am back in Nilgiri hostel, where I am staying while preparing for my interview, having a ball of a time after 2 years of studying my ass away. And to better it, Season 5 is here. First 4 episodes are leaked by HBO-GO. So I had to binge them, though grudgingly. By this time, I had taken a liking to go one episode per week — so as to savour every little moment better — rather than going for the binge. By the time the season is done, and Jon Snow is dead, I am almost ready for getting the result of my first attempt at UPSC. So the vacuum created by the wait of the final few days is compounded by the GoT emptiness, which is further compounded by the fact that this is where the books end. How the story proceeds is, for the first time in years, a mystery to me too. My days of book-reading prescience are now over. The void is now filled by a mad study of fan theories, doing crazy research to collect evidence to prove R+L=J.
Cut to April 2016. I am back to Delhi after spending a year in Jabalpur. Life has now moved to Jiasarai. I am studying for a third attempt now (having failed in clearing Mains in my second attempt). Years of unemployment and social isolation have started taking a toll on me mentally. My resolve has started to break. I am in the most vulnerable phase of my life (yet), but Oh Thank God, Season 6 is coming. I have just read about the concept of ‘delayed gratification’ and I have started to try to apply it to my daily life. Except, I just could not delay the gratification of GoT. So I wake up at 6 on Monday mornings, super excited. I take a bath, dress and reach library by 06.50am. There are students stale, smelly and half asleep from the night out studying in library lying around in sofas and tables. There are people cleaning up the library. And there is me, fresh, ready to stream GoT on Hotstar (for the first time ever, without having to resort to torrents).
Cut to A̵p̵r̵i̵l July 2018. I now have a job. I have abandoned Civil Services after years of pursuit, and have been working in a startup for a few months now. For the first time in years, April has gone by without GoT, but it is finally here in July. But what! The script has leaked, some say, and after avoiding to read it for a few days, I could not resist and read it. And the so-called leaked script is so bad (especially the latter half of the season) that I cannot believe this is the real script. I watch the first episode in Jabalpur (7 am of course). The server of Hotstar crashes for some 10 minutes — could not bear the load. I could not bear the agony of minutes passing by without getting my fix of that first episode. Second episode, I watch in Delhi. Third episode, in Mumbai. Fourth episode (the epic one) gets leaked by Hotstar when it is 4 pm on a Thursday. It is almost torture to finish the day before I rushed home to watch it. And there, I had just had the highest peak of ecstasy which GoT could ever provide me (or so I feel today). After that, a lacklustre 5th episode in Hyderabad. An astoundingly bad 6th episode (which got leaked again). By the time I was watching the 7th episode, it started to feel like that GoT is suddenly not the same thing anymore — like it had lost its essence somewhere.
Cut to April 2̵0̵1̵8̵ 2019. Two years have gone by without GoT, unnoticed. Life has, for once, stayed still. As if waiting for GoT to finally get over. Two years later, I am still at the same park outside the same office drinking tea from the same tapri. Life has never been so stable for this long since I left college. And yet, I am not the same person anymore. I do not use facebook anymore, and my love for GoT is gone. All that is left is a faint memory of the emotion. But for old times’ sake, for the sake of proper closure, I have resolved to get up at 6 every Monday, bathe and watch the final season at 06.30 sharp. All the while wondering… What next?
