Humans don’t like to fix themselves.
They say life is all about conquering your fears and live in the moment (I’m pretty sure somebody must have said something like this some time back). I did, recently, in fact, conquer one of my own when I decided to go to the dentist.
You only truly understand how hollow you are from within when the dentist (the coolest, calmest prototype of human God available on Earth) tells you that a tooth of yours has died because you decided not to take enough care of it. Being a 20 something and listening to this is even worse to digest than consuming a kale and spinach smoothie that your mom makes every day, thinking that it’ll magically counter all the junk you’ve been eating forever and continue to eat forever on.
To add to that is the feeling you get when you see random teenagers walking by and just think to yourself — God bless them, they don’t know what’s coming next! But all of this is by the sheer design of this universe, a way of telling you that you never really took care of yourself and now you’re just paying for it (like literally paying for it).
No, it’s not just about money or time. It’s essentially about you. Humans don’t like to fix themselves. They like to fix others and then feel good about it.

Insert random statistics and facts from various “health organisation data presentations” and you’ll get the factual understanding of what I’m saying. But the truth is, you already know more than what you’re willing to accept. One day your friend is terribly ill and you make sure you look after them, the other you’re sick yourself and seek excuses when no one looks after you or asks if you’re “okay”. Have you ever thought why is it that we depend on people so much, especially when we’re not ready to face our problems on our own?

Imagine, you have a friend who just had a break-up, or worse, a divorce. They turn to you for sympathy and you end up giving them all the comfort they need. Great, they feel good, your work is done. Next day you’re going through the same thing and all you know is that you’re the last person you need to listen to, even if you’re right about how you’re feeling, more than anyone else. You need to hear it from the other person.
Where was I wrong?
Is it something that you did and I don’t know of?
Why am I like this?
Will I ever be able to commit to anything or anyone?
We all know answers to these questions (no, they’re not rhetorics), but we’d like to hear it from someone else. There is a voice inside (the conscience) that we constantly condemn as stupid and a voice outside (the validation) that we prefer to rely on, while both the voices tend to say the exact same thing. I know I should lose weight, I know all the remedies, the workouts, the diets, the DOs and DON’Ts, but I also know how to ignore it all and feast like every day is a cheat day (because YOLO). But am I willing to accept that not all ignorance is bliss especially when it comes to one’s own wellbeing?
We all like to believe what we think or feel is right, no matter how starkly similar or remotely different it is from what the other person has to offer. Our intake of ideologies and philosophies is much higher than what our daily nutrition should be, because the only thing we actually feed on is the Instagram story of a person we used to know some 4 years ago, who happens to have a better life than us in almost all outstanding situations. If things are going good, our mental status is first reflected on the blurred lines between social media and personal thoughtscapes. But before you save that thing on your Pinterest wall or bookmark that link to 100 ways of being positive when you’re depressed, do you take a step back and wonder why you do it at all?
Humans don’t like to fix themselves, they like to pretend that one day they eventually will.
We like to predict results without even going through the procedure and then cry over the things we knew would hurt us later. Heartbreak isn’t what you choose, but it certainly is something you anticipate. Breaking a bone isn’t what you choose, but given the circumstances, you can decide how to live further on, maybe without it. Knowing the outcome is not what you need, but choosing the journey to reach a certain something.
But let me ask you — do you want to get there, do you want to fix yourself, do you want to be able to love yourself, and are you willing to finally accept yourself as a living, breathing entity?