Dear Shattered Heart

Dear Heart,

I told you a few years ago I would protect you, keep you safe and never let you endure the hurt that was caused to you again. I remember feeling like I was responsible for you being crushed by the pain of betrayal, shattered by love undone and frozen in fear of it all happening again. It was such a hard time for you, heart, and I was sorry for all that happened to you. I thought it was best to pick up your pieces and lock them away — never daring to look in on how you were healing or even dare to try to put you back together. I thought that we were done — that once so broken, we can never be whole again.

Two years of me denying you the chance to heal because I (wrongly) thought that I needed someone to heal me instead of trying to heal myself with time. So in the guise of protecting you, my shattered heart, I locked you away and never looked or hoped. I met people, I dated, I tentatively stepped out into the fray — but never once showing the pieces of my fragile heart to them. Never trusting that they could ever be as careful with you as I.

But whilst I busied myself with life, you were healing in your locked away state. You were putting your pieces back together and becoming stronger. I didn’t know. I couldn’t have guessed. How little I knew of your strength and your desire of love. You healed and soon you were beating and making such a thundering call, I could no longer ignore you. And then you were out — out to give yourself to someone who was worthy.

Dear no-longer-shattered-heart, you found the one you wanted to give yourself to and you did. He was worthy to you and you to him. And how brave you’ve been to be so courageously his. I’m in awe of the strength you have to love again after such trauma. I can see the patches where you’ve glued yourself back together with trust, hope and optimism. I know that you get stronger every time love is reciprocated and given to you. I also know that you can survive so much. We both can.

Thank you, formerly-shattered-heart. For showing me that love is possible after hurt, for hoping and healing. For continuing to love when it would have been easier to remain shattered in hurt forever.

Yours,
Owner of a heart renewed.