Home to House — Broken Windows
Greetings Dear Reader,
I am trying so hard to keep out the pain and loss. It is not working. I cannot close off the windows that let me see out but protect me from the feelings as they are broken instead of open. Part one of the last big push is today.
I am weary both physically and emotionally. Although I am determined to do this in faith I am completely exhausted from battling the situation. I find no peace in my pain. I find no solace even in the sure knowledge that God knows what he is doing even when I do not.
There is no experience in my history of solitude working well for me. That does not mean it cannot. It does mean that I move on without the hope that experience would provide. I can tell I am getting thread bare when I try to organize things. This is the hardest trial of my willingness to walk in faith I have had in some time.
I will not run after things that glitter or offer false hope. I will seek Christ and allow him to carry me when necessary. My pain and fear must not rule any of my responses. My faith must rule them all.
It’s just another day in paradise
As you stumble to your bed
You’d give anything to silence
Those voices ringing in your head
You thought you could find happiness
Just over that green hill
You thought you would be satisfied
We are like sheep without a shepherd
We don’t know how to be alone
So we wander ‘round this desert
And wind up following the wrong gods home
But the flock cries out for another
And they keep answering that bell
And one more starry-eyed messiah
Meets a violent farewell-
Now the flowers in your garden
They don’t smell so sweet
The heaven lying at your feet
There are so many contradictions
In all these messages we send
How do I get out of here?
Though the world is torn and shaken
Even if your heart is breakin’
It’s waiting for you to awaken
Wishing you joy in the journey,
Mat 13:52 So Jesus said to them, “That is why every writer who has become a disciple of Christ’s rule of the universe is like a home owner. He liberally hands out new and old things from his great treasure store.”
Originally published at aramisthorn.blogspot.com on August 19, 2015.