Self-talk is Important
Here’s why… and how
“I’m the GOAT,” said one of my student of what he talks to himself about. He later added, saying: “I am self-hypnotizing to become a GOAT.”
The term GOAT, stands for Greatest Of All Time and was first used in the 1990s. It was popularized by Muhammad Ali’s wife, who used it as a publicity tool.
Some students said they talk to themselves when they are depressed (as the term she used. It could mean different to a 16 year old and a 45 year old living in his parents basement), having social anxiety, or motivate themselves before an exam (he passed the test with flying colors).
Now, Imagine you are walking down the street and see someone walking alone talking to themselves.
You’d probably try to avoid them.
In some contexts, talking to oneself is thought to be the habit of eccentrics or a signal of mental instability. Yet, the truth is we all talk to ourselves, and being caught talking to yourself by a friend or a family can be embarrassing!
But.
Embarrassing or not, self-talking brings benefits that some of us rarely understand.
The Nature of Self-Talk
Self-talk is a complex human phenomenon.
It is an act of talking to oneself, a form introspection. A monologue that we engage from time to time.
It is a common and normal behavior at any age. Self-talk encompasses a verbal expression of one’s internal position or belief, conveying inner feelings, non-verbal thoughts, and intuitions about a situation through speech, with the intended audience being oneself.
While some might perceive it as an eccentric practice, self-talk is a natural cognitive process with far-reaching effects.
The Three Categories of Self-Talk
Self-talk can be categorized into three distinct groups, each characterized by its tone:
Positive Self-Talk: “You’ve got this!”
This form of self-dialogue encourages and reinforces positive beliefs about oneself. Engaging in positive self-talk can reduce anxiety, improve concentration, and enhance focus.
Negative Self-Talk: “Can I?”
Negative self-talk often involves critical and discouraging inner conversations, often riddled with self-doubts.
Neutral Self-Talk: “Stay focus.”
This type of self-talk is neither significantly positive nor negative. It is typically used for providing instructions to oneself without reinforcing particular beliefs or emotions.
The Role of Self-Talk in Regulating Emotions
Self-talk plays a significant role in regulating and processing emotions.
When individuals engage in self-talk about their feelings, it can help them direct their focus, gain control over their emotions, and devise appropriate responses to their emotional state.
For example, during moments of nervousness or anger, self-talk can be a valuable tool for managing these emotions effectively.
But… When to Seek Help
Negative self-talk, when it begins to significantly impact an individual’s mental health, should not be ignored.
It could be an indicator of underlying conditions such as anxiety, depression, or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Seeking professional help is advisable in such cases. A healthcare provider can offer guidance and support or recommend participation in support groups to address self-talk issues effectively.
For individuals who experience occasional negative thought patterns or self-talk, lifestyle changes, such as regular exercise and mindfulness or meditation practices, can contribute to a more positive and relaxed mindset.
Self-Talk’s Impact on Cognitive Performance
Research has shown that self-talk can significantly enhance cognitive performance, participants who read instructions and talked themselves through tasks outperformed those who read instructions silently.
Self-talk helps individuals sustain concentration and improve their performance in various cognitive tasks.
Moreover, the practice of talking to oneself positively affects the development of new motor skills and complex tasks, contributing to improved cognitive functioning.
If you talk to yourself in a positive way, it can help you feel better and do better. This is because it affects your thinking, motivation, behavior, and emotions.
If you’re an athlete and you use positive self-talk, you’re more likely to feel less anxious, concentrate better, and perform better.
Boosting Self-Confidence Through Self-Talk
Positive self-talk can nurture self-confidence and self-esteem, increasing one’s chances for success.
This phenomenon is not limited to external encouragement; individuals can boost their own self-confidence through self-talk. Research indicates that athletes who practice encouraging self-talk demonstrate heightened self-confidence and reduced anxiety, ultimately leading to improved performance.
Managing Negative Emotions with Self-Talk
Self-talk can be a powerful tool for managing negative emotions.
Research shows that speaking to oneself in the third person is particularly effective in calming down.
When individuals address themselves in the third person during distressing situations, their emotional brain activity decreases faster, reducing the intensity of negative emotions.
This technique can help individuals gain emotional distance and prevent re-experiencing painful or traumatic events.
How to Make Self-Talk More Positive and Less Negative
Noticing negative self-talk and turning it around before it takes hold can help individuals think more positively and change their behaviors.
To make self-talk more positive, consider the following steps:
Identify Negative Thinking
The first and crucial step is to recognize your negative self-talk. Pause and acknowledge these thoughts for what they are — a mental construct. Consider how you would address someone else in the same situation.
Pay attention to how you talk to yourself when faced with challenges. Writing down examples of negative self-talk can be helpful in recognizing patterns.
That’s why, having a pocket journal is a must for people who seemed to be struggling organizing the chaos in their mind.
Question Your Thoughts
Challenge the accuracy of your negative thoughts. Often, they are not based in reality. Is it genuinely true, or is it an exaggeration? Explore alternative explanations and viewpoints. Remember, many of your worries never materialize.
Gain Perspective
Put your thoughts into context. Ask yourself, “So what if this thought is valid?” Try viewing the situation from various angles, perhaps through another person’s eyes. Write down your thoughts or express them verbally. Consider whether this concern will hold significance in the grand scheme of things.
Halt the Negative Spiral
Employ a thought-stopping technique. Visualize the thought being halted, squashed, or vanishing, or create a simple ritual to interrupt the negative cycle.
Transform Negative Self-Talk
Replace negative self-talk with more constructive and positive statements. For instance, replace “I cannot do it” with “I will give it my best shot.” By consciously altering your self-talk, you can foster a more optimistic mindset.
Having Doubts is Human
It’s what makes us humans.
To question things we don’t understand.
These steps might appear somewhat technical on paper, but let me assure you, they have been a game-changer for me, particularly during challenging times. Dealing with social anxiety, approaching and engaging with people, especially those in airport booths (ugh), used to churn my stomach with nerves.
Pro tip: Select one step and make it a daily practice, especially if you find yourself caught in a negative spiral.
Always question your thoughts.
Remind yourself that we reside within the recesses of our minds, and what we perceive is a reality constructed by others. These individuals offer their unique perspectives, and it’s essential not to be fooled by them.
Engaging in self-talk enables you to evaluate your personal reality and determine what truly serves your well-being. Once identified, stick to it. This approach has made a world of difference for me, and it can for you too.
One step at a time.
Do you talk to yourself?
Was it too much?
Does it help you? If so…
How?
