Loneliness sometimes it’s too bitter — Or what I like to call “Midnight realizations”.

Sometimes I get the feeling that we are not allowed to say our feelings aloud. Sometimes I don’t like to admit my own feelings to be honest, but it just bothers me how to feel things is often seen as a sign of weakness or drama.
It’s like because I’m young I don’t get to feel bad or sad, I have to “YOLO”, enjoy life and well, be emotionally detached… all the time. But guess what, we are not robots, and some feelings just invade us with no warnings. Feelings that we would hate to admit in front of others.
So here it goes: Today I feel lonely.
I had this realization while speaking to a korean guy on the internet. Don’t get me wrong, the guy is really sweet and nice, but I felt extremely lonely during the conversation. It made me question why. Shouldn’t it be nice to talk to someone from a different country? Learn new things about another culture, another language? Shouldn’t internet help us to connect with people?
It’s kind of crazy to think about the amout of apps and websites destined to link people somehow and yet, we still feel disconnected. Lonely, tired, downloading, dowloading and downloading. Waiting for some magic to happen and work things out for us. Everything to make us feel less lonely.
But today I feel lonely.
And that’s okay, I must remember that I’m allowed to feel. It’s okay to feel, even though is not easy to deal with the feeling itself. When it comes to loneliness is no different. It’s a pill hard to swallow, a bitter black coffee with a spoon of melancholy.
It’s a bitter emotion most of the times, but today is too bitter. Today is bitter because maybe technology won’t save us (in fact, some people believe that it will drift us further apart). Today is bitter because I can feel lonely even when I’m in a room full of people, even when I’m with people that I love. Today it feels too bitter because I said it aloud.
I’m not quite sure if things will be better tomorrow, the only thing I can do now it’s to hope so. To have hope for me and the korean guy who might be just as lonely.
“And why would you think that?” You might ask.
It’s because he always says “Let’s talk again tomorrow!”, day after day to some unknown girl at the other side of the world.
