Anthology: John

I

For now I’m sure this blameworthy
silence is possibly the most
trembling esteem of mine
as you stare with no ceremony,
waiting for me to fill the air
with some interesting words.

Your head is gently sloping
as your wild eyebrows
kill me with this expectancy
of yours, making you look like
a child waiting for the end of a
fairy tale book.

The lights along the neighborhood
are synchronously off as
the minute to get 3am provide
absence of precision,
and it is so dark yet I can see you
clearly as you are stardust
who refuse to stop shining.

Our legs are fighting for
space as we share my
single bed, although there is
a mattress on the floor,
supposed to be your place
to stay the night. 
You drank a whole bottle of
water so now you can’t barely
finish a subject without going to the bathroom
and I love seeing you drinking water,
I love your sobriety and your
glimpses of attention.

The harebrained of yours
is still there, it is always there,
but I got you listening to
a huge amount of eight minutes.
Seven of that were unfilled
breaths of wonder and curiosity
as I tried to state my thoughts about
careers, since you asked me
what I was doing after finishing the period,
and all the way through
my strolling you were there,
waiting patiently for an answer,
with your comes and goes to the toilet.

Your unspoken words were there,
going along with silly thoughts and
tempted eyes and blue-path hands.
and being silent were possibly the most
beautiful thing to say.


II

I hate your hands cause they are
electric fences stopping me
from invading you.
They keep tasting me
with chills as you check
my bruises and uncomfortably
stare deep into my demur.

My lips are swollen cause I’m
biting them hard,
holding warm-blooded
words from coming out of
my sweaty chest.

The weather is so cold yet
I’m moist by the (vain) effort of
escaping inside a too long coat
who tricked my steps.

Please don’t ask me anything now.

You look like you want
to say something as I hold
my head on my hand
and my knees get
violet by the fall.

Please don’t ask me anything now
and let’s just get up and
continue the path that leads
to the cafeteria and I promise
I won’t ask back
why were you following me as
I was trying to run away from
the city and it’s unrest.

So that I don’t have to
admit I’m a pathetic
not-good-at racing fugitive
who intended to get hide
on your favorite coffee place.


III

He was driving through
the skyline as I suddenly felt
so angry I could not 
stay in movement anymore,
feeling like we were going to this huge
amount of absence after all.

I asked him to stop and
I jumped out of the car as soon as it rested, so 
I could avoid the questions and just breathe.
I felt so small there,
in the middle of a road limited by
nothing and nothing,
with those lights so old that failed
to continue doing their job
for more than two minutes,
making the complete darkness
penetrate my corneas
as I felt in the corner
of my eyes he was getting closer
with his animal feet.

He gently lined his front to my back
and touched my burning chest, 
so that I finally felt calm.
His sweet cold fingers dancing
under the coat in my stomach
started moving in circles,
trying to open this hole
so my demons could go away.

We stayed like this,
nothing but his hands moving, 
until I felt clean enough to turn to him and smile, 
the tiniest but sincere smile I ever gave him.
We can be friends.


*John is a fictional character

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