Smile, baby. It’s just locker room talk.
Originally posted October 10, 2016.
- Going out this weekend? Don’t wear anything too tight or short or low-cut.
- Having a serious discussion? Be sure to smile.
- Group of men walking towards you? Cross to the other side of the road.
- Heading to your car? Call a friend.
- Using public transportation alone? Sit near another woman.
- Worried someone might spike your drink? There’s a nail polish for that.
- Thinking of reporting sexual assault? Ask yourself if it’s worth it because:
- You could ruin a young man’s life (don’t worry, that’s only really a concern if he’s white),
- Be discouraged by the police from reporting, or
- Asked by a federal judge why you couldn’t just keep your knees together.
- Applying for a job? Prepare to make less money for equal work. Double down on that if you aren’t white.
- Buying everyday items? Save up that lesser salary of yours to afford the gender tax and “luxury items” like tampons!
- Want an education? Don’t wear anything that might be distracting to men or boys. Never forget their comfort and education is far more important than yours. Items to avoid include: Collar-bone exposing shirts, A slightly above-the-knee skirt, and anything remotely comfortable.
- Ready for kids? Fingers crossed it isn’t an inconvenience to your employer.
- Don’t want kids? Tell no one or risk being called selfish or not a real woman. Remember, your main identifier is your ability to carry life.
- Not able to have kids? See above.
- Need an abortion? Might have to cross state lines if you live in these places.Special shout out to Vice Presidential candidate Governor Mike Pence!
- Interested in STEM? Better not be too pretty.
- Refusing your boss’s advances? Hope he doesn’t fire you.
- Don’t want to give someone your number? Hope he doesn’t shoot you.
- Breaking up with your boyfriend? Hope he doesn’t kill you.
Don’t tell me rape culture isn’t a thing when women have stories like this.
Don’t say they’re “just women’s issues” when women are half of the population.
Don’t teach your daughters how to avoid being raped while excusing your sons with “boys will be boys.”
Don’t only care if it’s your wife or daughter or sister.
Don’t think for a second that I even remotely covered everything.
And definitely, definitely, definitely: