For a while now my best-friend has been talking about making an online dating account. Now to give you a little context, everyone loves Olwen. Not a single person will have something bad to say about her, and everyone wants to be her best-friend. Guys included. But that’s kind of the problem: Olwen, the hilarious, loving, lovely person that she is, seems to be almost incapable of not sending out “friend” signals to guys, regardless of whether she is interested in them or not. Its one of life’s little mysteries. So wouldn’t it be perfect to have some sort of tool that made it clear from the start that you were available and interested? Enter E-Harmony.

So it’s Sunday night and homework is just not happening. So we decide to put our time to better use and create her E-Harmony account. And can I tell you, it was a blast! They are very clever these love guru people, making what is really an interminable personality assessment seem fun: they break the questions into easy-to-handle chunks, they give you the opportunity to stop at any time and pick up from where you left off when you’re in the mood again, they shout flattering encouragements at you, and so on. A very pleasant experience altogether. And once you have your account, well the fun just keeps on kicking with a clean, ergonomic, and interactive format, matches already lined up for you, etc. And that’s where the question of the famous algorithm comes in: on the basis of what exactly are they matching you? How accurate are those matches really? Would you keep getting the same matches if you made the same profile over and over again? Basically, does it actually work?

And the mystery man takes center stage: who knows?? See, in their desperate battle to protect their magical algorithm from competitors, E-Harmony has not revealed what it actually is. And yet, they claim that it works wonders, matching soulmates on a daily basis. So does it work? Ultimately, we don’t know and in all likelihood, neither do they as there is no scientifically rigorous data available as of now to support either verdict. BUT, even if the algorithm was just nothing in a fancy package, there may be other reasons why it could still work, i.e., match people better than other online dating sites. On the one hand, there could be an expectancy (basically, placebo) effect — you’ve signed up for E-Harmony so you expect great things, for your matches to be wonderful, for it all to eventually work out for you, etc. Also, we cannot disregard the power of money. E-Harmony requires that you pay for their illustrious services, not enough to bankrupt you but enough that you don’t just throw down the cash without another thought. And this may just be their sneaky secret weapon because in paying for something, you are essentially conferring value upon it, a value which likely only increases as you, after-the-fact, rationalize this purchase as the best thing you have ever done. Now that you have bought it, you’re expecting something for the money and by god you will get that something! As a result, you may be more motivated to work for dates, be more favourable in your assessment of potential partners, etc. and all because they asked you to invest a non-negligible (but not ridiculous) sum of money in their product. And finally, returning back to the super fun personality assessment they make you take, they are designed to screen out people for criminality, for high numbers of divorce, and for being high on Neuroticism. Translation: they are already cleansing the eligibility pool of a significant portion of unattractive partners. So basically, you get to avoid a lot of possible really bad first dates/relationships upfront.

So ultimately, will Olwen find love? I like to think so, but will it be because of the super magical, amazingly fantastic algorithm? Not necessarily.