HI, I’M ARIADNA

Everybody has a story… stories to keep private, and stories to share. We can always use those stories, those experiences, those perspectives, to gain insight, to marvel at our capacity to overcome problems and situations, or simply to listen to something different. Isn’t it wonderful to get to know people, diverse mindsets, different outcomes to the same situation? To get out of our own world, and mind frames? Personally, I find it fascinating… !

I was a having a coffee with a friend mother of two, this morning, and as we sat chatting about our lives, our work, the country we now live in, our kids, our short and long term plans, we realized we were confronted by the same situation, and as we went further into the conversation, I had an eyeopener. She made me see other possibilities I wasn’t even considering. She gave me hope — she showed me HER perspective, and I gratefully took what I thought might work for me. A simple coffee. With a simple human being. That’s all it takes. Things like that have given me the courage to talk about my life. Because, who knows…? Maybe, by sharing my experiences, I might give someone a different perspective, a different story, and a different outcome to any given situation. And if not, it’s always fun to have something to read!

My Russian mother and my Venezuelan father got divorced when I was 1 year old. I spent my childhood living in my father’s country, surrounded by my Russian family. I never heard of my father again, until I was 15 years old, when we bumped into each other at a library. I felt a strong tug at my arm and heard a deep voice telling me “I am your father” (sounds familiar, huh?). From then on it was a whirlwind for me. At the age of 15, my mom pushed me away from her life permanently. I ended up living with my dad, who was (still is) married for the fourth time to a divorced woman (who happens to be his cousin), mother of a girl, plus they had a boy. So it was truly “Yours, Mine & Ours”.

Further on in life, at the age of 17, I met my extremely religious ex husband, and I began working at the age of 18. I’ve had a relatively successful career. I went from being a preschool teacher, to being the lead director of the English Department at my kids’ school. I turned down many opportunities, choosing my relationship over my career. If there have been regrets in my life, this has been one of them. So… I got married when I was 23, spent 2 years living apart, and seeing each other during the weekends, because of his work. I had two kids during that time. I finally moved to where he was working, and had two more kids. He was kidnapped from our home, and we spent 42 days in that ordeal. After many negotiations and threats, and paying a significant ransom, the kidnappers (tied to the venezuelan government — Chavez was in his best moment of power) released him. We lived surrounded by bodyguards, who were with us 24/7. I lost my freedom to drive, to be on my own, to live a tranquile and ordinary life. Yet we stayed in Venezuela, while my husband tried to figure out what to do and where to go. I got pregnant — again! — and suffered a miscarriage. Our marriage began to crumble (for many different reasons that had nothing to do with the kidnapping) and even then, I got pregnant again with our fifth child. When #5 (best known as Izzie), turned 3, we moved to Costa Rica.

In Costa Rica, I discovered trail running, and went from training for my first 10 K, to training for a half marathon, to running 60k ultras in less than a year. Being a nature freak, and experiencing my body’s strengths, I fell in love with the country, but definitely fell out of love with my husband. I got divorced after two years of couple, and individual therapy sessions. On the professional aspect, since moving to Costa Rica, I stayed home with my kids and tried to be as supportive as possible because of all the changes they were going through. During that time, I discovered I was a relatively good baker, and began a business on my own, called ‘Crumbs’. It turned out to be my main source of income, and as of today, it still is.

I am currently living with my five kids, and dating a spectacular human being. My oldest kid is now 22, and the youngest is 11. They are an awesome, and challenging bunch. The spectacular human being I’m dating is a brilliant unordinary lawyer, covered in tattoos. That being said, life has brought me here, to this place and time, for which I am infinitely grateful.

There is a saying that goes: “Life is what it is” to which I always add: ”AND WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT”, and that’s what makes our stories unique and worth sharing. The way we decide to walk our paths, defines where we go and how. Some decisions take us through a straighter road, some through bumpier ones. But in the end, it all adds up as experience and lessons. Through this blog, I will share mine.

    Ariadna Rios Varemkow

    Written by

    Mother of five - writer - holistic coach - people say life is what it is. I would add ‘and what we make of it’. lifeandfive@wordpress.com