On Self-Care as Resistance (when you’re not a white woman)

I was searching the Internet back in March for what kind of self-care guidelines there are for introverts like myself and marginalized folx in general engaged in socio-political resistance. What I found was several articles guiding the reader through action plans that would support their introverted or “highly sensitive” capacities. Fantastic.

The problem is that they were mostly written by white women. Particularly white women who appear to be middle/upper class and want to integrate “activism” into their pre-existing introverted lifestyles. Meanwhile, we (marginalized/nonwhite folx) are out here not considering our personalities or preferences while we approach social justice, because it is about survival.

It is not that I do not think there are many routes to approach civic engagement or resistance. I am conscious of how much I engage in myself, being an introvert with anxiety and knowing that I am useless when I am burnt out. The issue is that I am skeptical of any perspective on “activism” that smells of classism and the coddling of white fragility.

The saturation of white women addressing activism for introverts/highly-sensitive-persons comes from a vantage point of racial and economic advantage because they are largely able to determine when it is most convenient to participate in what for the rest of us often doesn’t seem optional.

It is indicative of white people leveraging their privilege to encourage the world to accept them as they are and to make room for their feelings first. Meanwhile nonwhite people, especially women of color, are showing up despite the feelings. With the feelings. Because of the feelings. And despite lack of access, resources, and economic support, we show up even when it makes us uncomfortable.

I believe we should honor our innate gifts, boundary our capacities, and do what makes sense for us in the work of resistance. I do believe introverts and sensitive people, along with those differently abled, chronically ill, and cash poor need to know what they can sustainably contribute. If we are actively engaged in socio-political reconstruction and resistance, it is going to be uncomfortable. We are going to do things we wouldn’t normally do. And space needs to be made in the movement for these lived experiences. (I highly recommend A Nervous Wreck’s Disabled Guide to Stepping Up by Mahdia Lynn).

We don’t get those invitations or permission slips to curate our lifestyles to our capacities. We are directly impacted and simultaneously asked to create change. When I look at the community workers and resisters around me, many of them are introverted, highly sensitive, cash poor people like myself. And yet we are and always have stretched outside of ourselves for the work. This is what it is. The work. And it will always be here.

The rallying cry to the oppressed is usually, “If you’re so upset, do something about it. Don’t be part of the problem, be part of the solution.” I often hear the reprimand that decisions and change are made by those who show up. And those of us who are navigating lived and generational trauma combined with the external and internalized oppression of racism, ableism, classism, sexism, etc., are often ostracised for not doing so.

The marginalized, particularly women of color, are expected to be “strong”. Expected to be “brave”. Even while we get labeled as angry, loud, unreasonable, and radical when our bravery and strength make them uncomfortable. Don’t call us strong. Don’t call us brave. Because that’s only what we get to be when you feel safe and we’re not taking care of ourselves. This is unacceptable.

I see us showing up over and over again. I see us on the front-lines.

I see us introverted yet making ourselves known. I see us hurt yet healing others. I see us highly sensitive yet coping. I see us being cash poor, disabled, struggling with mental health, traumatized- yet making time to show up for our people. In versatile, resourceful, and impactful ways. We are innovative and investing emotional, intellectual, and physical labor into our communities. This is not a glorification of the struggle we stay in, but an acknowledgement of what a struggle it really is.

Where are the permission slips for the marginalized and oppressed to be gentle with themselves, make room for their feelings, and curate their resistance to their personalities? For those whose lives are actually and constantly on the line? When does it become okay to rest or not “show up”, without being shamed for it? When are we allowed to make space for our capacity?

I want to give a permission slip to every nonwhite person reading this. Invest in yourself- your health, your safety. It is a radical contribution to community. Support your long term movement with lots of tender loving care. Let yourself alternate routes of resistance when you’re burnt out, working with mental illness, traumatized, recovering, disabled, cash poor, introverted, or highly sensitive. Give yourself the kindness and gentleness that the world does not. Give yourself joy and rest. This is self-care. This is resistance.

[This article was originally published at Latinx Lancaster.]

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Ariana Emunah Felix

Written by

I am the Jewyorican Bruja astrologer behind www.saltwaterstars.com. You can also find me writing about Latinx decolonization at www.latinx-lancaster.tumblr.com

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