Kinky: A Look Into BDSM

When someone mentions BDSM, what do you think? Rough sex? Whips and handcuffs? A Dominatrix? Well, all these things are right but BDSM is much more than that.

Ever since “50 Shades of Grey” came out in 2011, people have been interested in what BDSM is and what it embodies. With the movie starting to work its way into production, it is a good time to really understand what BDSM is and not just what the erotic novel says it is.

According to Xeromag.com, the letters BDSM stand for 3 different acronyms: “B&D” (Bondage and Discipline), “D&S” (Dominance and Submission), and “S&M” (Sadism and Masochism). BDSM embodies many things such as tying up your lover, bossing them around, biting, spanking, and a wide array of other activities. Many people do an element of this practice without being aware of it. BDSM is not just about hardcore punishment; it can be gentle and soft. BDSM is diverse and complex. In article from Psychology Today it states that there are noticeable gender differences in what role people decide to put themselves in. The role are “Dominant”, “Submissive”, and “Switches”. While the percentage of men in each category seems to be somewhat even, women tend to prefer more gender-typical roles (i.e. being submissive).

In the 18th Century, Marquis de Sade, a French aristocrat and philosopher became well known for his very shocking and sometimes violent sexual practices. Due to these acts, he was locked in an insane asylum for 32 years of his life. The words “sadism” and “sadist” derive from his name. The word “masochism” derives from the name of the author of “Venus in Furs”, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. The book was influenced by Sacher-Masoch’s sexual lifestyle where he was a sex slave.

Even though BDSM may seem like it is painful or dangerous, it is actually not. Usually people who practice it have a safe word for when things get to be a little too much. The people in the community also make sure that everything is safe and consensual. Practitioners have to be in a right mindset and not be intoxicated. The way the sexual practices are portrayed in “50 Shades of Grey” is actually not safe and is really unhealthy. The BDSM community is different from what the book describes it as.

Practicing BDSM actually has some health benefits. According to an article from The Huffington Post, People who are into kinky sex may be psychologically healthier than those who are not. People who practice BDSM score higher on certain indicators of mental health. In the past, doing such practices were seen as something only abused people or those with a mental disorder would do, this has since been disproven. BDSM-friendly people tend to be less neurotic, more open, and more sensitive in their relationships.

BDSM does not have to be a scary sexual practice. It can be used to spice up your bedroom experience or can even just be a part of your everyday sex. You are probably doing something that is categorized as BDSM anyways. Just don’t shy away from trying something new, it is good for your health.

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