a semi comprehensive list of people/places/things that I miss at the moment — in no particular order
- the walk from haas to home! all downhill, gloriously sauntering, sun shining, wind blowing ever so slightly— should i stop at yifang? hi mom, 你忙吗 i miss you!
- oh hello — a familiar face on bancroft&dana — hey there! how are you? awkward as encounters may be, there pervades the soft warmth of commonality and oneness, familiarity and comfort — we’re all going through the same thing. you’re stressed, i’m stressed, but i hope you know i’m here if you need me
- my semi-firm mattress topper — the single best purchase of my college years. i can’t live without you, you’ve spoiled me since the day we met
- bumpy and the freedom afforded by bumpy, the extreme selfishness and individualism never judged by bumpy — so much more cost-efficient than the frickin tube
- zipping down the leftmost lane of highway 880, knowing the comfort of home awaits me, podcast serving as background noise while eyeing the clock and the speedometer. in my head, mom’s voice, “you’re too close to the shoulder!!”
- once home: freshly cut fruit (mangos from Wee — chinese underground black market fruit), little boys arguing over bey-blades, and dad’s goofy smile when he walks in the door from work
- mom at the kitchen island, still in soft cotton pajamas, eyes squinting beneath reading classes as she twirls an ornately pink and orange ombréd mung-bean peony
- long-grain white rice, even just one bite of it
- avocados, more specifically, avocado toast with an over-medium egg (everything but the bagel seasoning) and a drizzle of sriracha on top of a well-toasted, golden-brown slice of ezekiel bread
- cheeseburger with grilled onions and an order of animal fries — it’s been at least five months since we’ve crossed paths
- the red quesadilla maker in the sisters’ house, cheese bubbling, oozing, charring just a bit
- trader joe’s and whole foods — with my favourite errand companion, marveling at blueberry vanilla goat chevre and passionfruit ellenos, gorgeous wine labels
- having people to schedule dinner plans with — who knew
- conversations that come easily, naturally, beautifully — without force, without effort, without consciousness
- 4am group hugs, i love you’s, giggles and butterflies, naughtily sneaking in through the backdoor — some of the sweetest and riskiest nights of my life
- a best friend for ice cream runs to ici’s, random mid-day, late-night, any-time-of-day conversations in the parking lot, and a genuine feeling of care&understanding, but it’s been a while — i’ve missed you for a year now
- the embrace of my very best friend, now in a completely new phase of life — one in which i have no place, and instead i am reduced to intangible memories, dreams, and secondary accounts. i miss you always