She’s strong on the outside, but on the inside…

When a child has nowhere (no loved ones, they don’t listen) or it is impossible (forbidden, shamed) to place his “weaknesses”, such as fear, anger, a feeling of helplessness, pain, etc., then he feels lonely and defenseless.

The little person is forced to look for strategies to cope with what causes these feelings on his own. At the same time, these experiences are locked inside (it’s safer) and remain unvoiced, unexpressed.

The child gets used to keeping within himself everything that is “unacceptable,” “shameful,” “nobody cares,” and can even achieve visible success in solving life’s problems. The only problem is that feelings remain locked inside and the child’s need for a strong and kind protector remains unfulfilled.

This need pushes an adult person to expect that another can (and should!) become for him what his parent did not become at one time.

However, here we are faced with a problem — the request for salvation, for care, for protection remains unspoken, precisely because of the habit of hiding what can be scary, difficult or sad…

By behavior, a person, on the contrary, demonstrates such strength, confidence and the ability to cope on his own, which in no way makes the other think that he can and generally needs to be protected.

And so, vulnerable, hungry for care and understanding, the inner child suffers and all that remains for him is to cry from resentment when he is poorly cared for, or…