Why Cockroaches Are Vampires, Indian Toilet Squat Struggles And Other Things
Why Cockroaches Are Vampires?
Cockroaches are vampires, because well you know, they are on the move in the dark and hide in light like it was burning their body. Unlike vampires though, they do not know when my foot is so close to them that if I was to inadvertently place it on ’em they would most probably be out of this world in a jiffy. Also a similarity with the vampires is, that they have this superpower to not die of a nuclear holocaust. But the weird thing about this is that, if they get upside down, they call for help by continuously writhing, saying
Please air!/human someone please just somebody toss me around!
And, they are easily killed with a crush.
Indian Toilets’ Squat Struggles
I miss Indian style toilets. I used to hate them at one point of time. Hate them like I would want to burn them down. But I fell in love with them when I went to college. Common floor bathrooms would have 3–4 Indian style toilets and one English style. Because many people who had never squatted and pooped before would always capture the English style before, odds would heavily be that one would (if one could! :D ) have to go pooping in the Indian style.
Like with many things there are tradeoffs, which is to say there are both advantages and disadvantages of Indian style toilets. The advantages are, no matter how small the pressure’s been made in your bowel, accumulated waste would flow like it was going through a water slide, effortlessly. It would rush so elegantly and at the right speed that you’d love how fast you’d been relieved. Also you would not ever face this:
At the same time, the disadvantages of an Indian style toilet are that, your feet would probably get numb if you are sleepy, which is true most mornings. You are likely to topple back, because it’s hard to balance when you are squatting for long. You’d be able to see your 💩 as soon as you look down a bit, sitting right there, brown/yellow/blackish-brown solid/semi-solid/semi-liquid/liquid depending on your stomach conditions.
The biggest disadvantage would be that if you like to take your mobile in the toilet to scroll numerous social feeds, there are more chances that your mobile will end up with your 💩 and you’ll be staring at your 💩 wondering if you should bring your cleaning gloves to take it out.
If and when you do, there would be more questions staring back at ya.
Is it working properly? Should I put it in the sun? Should I heat it near gas or heater? Would the smell of the 💩 ever go? How do I clean these gloves now!
The Other Things
On my tech blog, I was trying to figure things out to write about in an article that I wanted to title Design: The Solution to Every Problem. But I couldn’t come up with anything. Until I started to write this article. Now I think I might be getting somewhere. Some of the things that I’ve been able to categorise as design problems:
- This is true not only for public bathrooms, but generally for all toilets out there. Let me give you a second to let this image impress upon your mind.
The reason why this is true for men (at least I think it is, and I’m bold enough to make this a general argument without fact checking), is because when a man is done peeing, in order to prevent reeking of leaked drops in his underwear he has to shake his penis off. The problem is that to a non erected penis, it’s extremely difficult to instruct to be out with the last drops weirdly hiding at the precipice (which is unfortunately not visible because it’s a cave precipice). Because of which a person with a penis has to shake it. And in those last moment shakes, one has to make sure that the drops aren’t projected outside the rim of the seat. Difficult!
2. While shifting feet from the accelerator paddle to the break paddle,
Note to non drivers: one foot is used to cover both of them, the other taking care of the clutch paddle at all times
sometimes, for example when one is wearing slippers, the foot gets stuck at the edge of the break paddle. This is because the paddles are at the same height from their hinge (or whatever it’s called) point. This is bad design! Break paddle should be a little towards the floor, so that the shift from accelerator to brake is smooth, so that it could make a difference in millisecond staked accidents.
I think that’s all for now, that’s the end of rambling. Yup.
