“Psychological aikido”: 10 ways to resolve conflict
Living in society and, at the same time, completely avoiding disagreement is an almost impossible task. Even in the friendliest family or team, misunderstandings arise from time to time, and this is quite normal. The main thing to remember is that the best way to resolve an intense conflict situation is to do it through joint efforts.
First of all, we must note that the likelihood of intensifying of the situation can be minimized: an important character trait such as politeness will come to your aid. It will help you win over others and make your relationships with people more harmonious.
This approach is surely time-tested: the ancient Greek philosopher Aristippus of Cyrene spoke of it. In the second guideline of his Code, the thinker urged to be caring, kind and attentive to others people. In other words, do not cross the red lines.
The philosopher’s main idea is that actions that could lead to conflict with others should be avoided while maintaining self-esteem.
However, how to remain calm and be polite if a quarrel begins? Try a tactic called “psychological aikido”. It is based, as you might guess, on the philosophy of the famous Japanese martial art, namely avoiding conflict without showing hostility.
The essence of “psychological aikido” is that a person does not openly oppose his/her opponent, but tries to navigate emotions in the right direction. Of course, such tactics require awareness, patience and a willingness to seek compromise. In the meantime, while you are in the process of mastering it, we advise you to behave in any disputes that arise as follows:
1. Practice active listening. Do not interrupt your interlocutor: give him/her the opportunity to express emotions.
2. Show empathy. Try to put yourself in your opponent’s shoes and see the situation from his/her perspective.
3. Stay calm. Avoid escalating the tension, otherwise everything can quickly devolve into accusations and allegations.
4. Develop flexibility of thinking. Remember that your opponent’s opinion may differ from yours. When faced with misunderstanding, it is important to be willing to look at the situation from different angles.
5. Express thoughts in a positive way. Choose clear and precise wording, avoid hostile statements.
6. Control your emotions. Don’t make decisions out of anger or irritation.
7. Talk about your feelings and needs. Look for a way out of the conflict that takes into account the interests of all parties involved.
8. Don’t give up responsibility. Admitting your own mistakes will help reduce tension.
9. Take the chance to improve yourself. Perceive a conflict situation as an opportunity for personal growth.
10. Make an effort to understand your interlocutor. Focus on finding common ground rather than differences.
Remember: patience and politeness are the key to any conflict resolution!
However, the ability to resolve conflicts does not guarantee a successful cooperation. What other communication skills are needed for effective interaction with others? Read the article: Collaboration: 5 rules for success
