Why is politeness always in trend?

The Aristippus Code
4 min readAug 31, 2023

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How to learn to be polite: 3 tips.

“Be polite and respect personal dignity of others.”

Aristippus of Cyrene, philosopher, disciple of Socrates

Politeness is not only a manifestation of good manners and respect for others, but also a key element of successful relationships in society. It creates a pleasant and friendly atmosphere conducive to effective communication. When we behave politely, we express concern for the feelings of others, establish trust and earn a positive reputation.

Let’s analyze the importance of this quality in modern society.

The role of politeness in the formation of stable relationships:

  • politeness helps maintaining personal boundaries

How often do we feel uncomfortable when someone invades our personal space? This can happen not only physically, but also emotionally when someone disrespects our beliefs or asks tactless questions. Politeness serves as a barrier that protects a person from unwanted intrusion into personal space.

  • politeness creates an atmosphere of trust

It is important to realize that politeness is not just a way to isolate yourself from intrusive people. Rather, it is an aide that allows you to build harmonious relationships with society. When a person expresses politeness towards others, he/she creates an atmosphere of trust and respect, which promotes a deeper exchange of ideas, feelings and experiences.

For example, you were assigned to train a new employee at work. You come up, give a small book with instructions and say: “Here are the instructions. Study them. I’ll be back in an hour and test you.” If you act so, you’re off to a bad start. A newbie will certainly feel nervous. However, you can approach things differently and give a task by saying: “You can perform your duties faster and better with the help of these instructions. Please study them carefully. I’ll be back in an hour to answer your questions. Best of luck!”. This approach will create a peaceful atmosphere, prompting the exchange of politeness.

  • politeness shows respect for people

Being polite is not a mere formality. Avoiding boorishness and rudeness means caring for your friends, relatives, colleagues. We must remember that we are all human beings. If you find it hard to control your emotions, use Peter Bregman’s “four-second” rule. Do you feel inner agitation? Take deep breaths for four seconds. After that, anger will be less intense or eliminated completely.

  • politeness allows upholding human dignity

Imagine that a disagreement arose between two colleagues. One of the employees, Robert, is faced with the aggressive reaction of his colleague Mark to the current situation. Mark begins to raise his voice at Robert, trying to show him in a bad light. Robert, on the other hand, calmly expresses his point of view using arguments and facts. His tone and manner of communication remain respectful, despite Mark’s attempts to drive Robert mad. Robert understands that it is important not only to convey his point of view, but also to uphold human dignity. Outside observers gradually take Robert’s side, seeing his adequacy and poise. In turn, Mark does not find support and realizes that an aggressive approach is obviously unsuccessful.

How to learn to be polite?

1. It is important to focus not only on words, but also on deeds. Saying “I’m sorry” isn’t politeness in itself. Genuine politeness is a sensitive attitude towards others and the aspiration not to disturb them. This does not always require a long-winded apology. Tactfulness and attention to other people’s needs without using unnecessary words — that’s the approach that works best.

2. “Think before you speak” — this is the basic principle described by Leonard Mlodinow in the book “Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior”. The author pinpoints the differences between humans and animals, the main of which is the ability to foresee the consequences of one’s actions. This includes being able to predict how other people will react to our actions.

3. Respect your friends and family. People often overlook the need for tact, both in words and actions, in close relationships. But keep in mind: making decisions for someone else is wrong. Consider and respect the opinions and wishes of your loved ones before taking any action aimed at “fixing” their lives. Collaboration and support are essential to maintaining healthy, harmonious relationships where each person respects each other’s personal space and freedom of choice.

Note: politeness helps maintaining an atmosphere of mutual understanding and contributes to resolving differences. You will become a more caring person and start building positive relationships with others if you develop this quality in yourself.

Read also the article:

How to earn respect?

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