Why Having Unfiltered Friendships are better

Two people having the same thought of stealing a pigeon

I am not an expert about friends or friendships, in fact I can count the number of friends I have on one hand. This isn’t anything to be sad about though, having a smaller circle of friends mean that you guys know each other well enough to the point you can talk about anything. This isn’t easy to do with a bigger group of people, so to save time and sanity, I prefer a smaller friend group. A smaller group also means that you can be more unfiltered around them, and I just wanted to share two examples of what my friends and I talk about and do in our day to day lives without worrying about being canceled on social media.

General Ideas- You might be thinking that you can share your ideas with anyone. Well sure, but sometimes your ideas can be so bizarre that people who aren’t likeminded will start worrying for your mental health. For example, my friend and I were walking around a plaza one day during Spring break. We usually get something to eat while we walk but that day, for some reason, we walked into a Petco (we don’t have pets). Now this shouldn’t seem all that weird, many people walk into a Petco just for fun right? Not us, we were on a mission to buy a fish (yes one fish) with the 15 dollars in cash he had. We looked around for a solid 30 minutes or so and we found the perfect fish. Did we end up buying it? No, turns out you have to be 18 to buy a fish which completely ruined our dreams of owning a fish. The reason why I used this particular example was because if he were to propose this idea to anyone else, he would definitely get called crazy and probably end up losing a few friends. Sounds harsh but it’s true because that’s why I have a smaller friend group now.

More Growth- You can share and learn a lot more things when you don’t have a filter around people. Having a filter around everybody not only stops you from learning more from others but it also stops you from learning more about yourself. That’s why I think having a group or someone to have little to no filter around is a good thing. I feel like I learn a lot more about myself the more I talk to people I am closer to rather than “soul searching”. For example, my dad and I go on drives before every chemistry test because it helps me relax before I lose my mind on test days. On the drives we talk about how life, work, and school is going and our general thoughts. On one of those drives, we were talking about computer science and my plans after high school and college. For the longest time my career path revolved around computer science but after taking the AP course I was almost sure I never want to write or see code again. My dad being the wise father, went in depth about how it wasn’t the teacher or the class but my mentality revolving around them (I still blame my teacher). After having that talk, he started to change my mind and now I am still on that CS path. How does this relate to having unfiltered conversations though? Well, I would never talk about my career path or my hatred towards chemistry and teachers with a random person or a friend I am not so close to. Overall, that talk changed my mentality of my perspective towards people and obstacles.

In conclusion, be careful who you’re friends with. Having a thousand friends sounds cool but at the end of the day most of them won’t care about you in a few years. Instead, build stronger relationships with people you already trust and keep them close to you. I think Kanye West said it best in his song Bound 2, “One good girl is worth a thousand b words” this goes the same for the friends you chose.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store