Making Decisions and Dealing with Mistakes
Being committed to your Path and knowing what you stand for simplifies the decision-making process enormously. In most cases, all you need to do to get instant clarity is to ask yourself whether this decision is in tune with your personal dignity and whether it helps you fulfil your mission in this life.
There are, instances, however, when even a warrior may hesitate. The road ahead may be misty and unclear, and the benefits of either of his choices uncertain. There may also be a strong temptation that appears nearly too good to be true.
In such times, resort to the Exemplary State. Sit quietly with yourself, and go back into the times where you felt joyful and at peace with yourself. To be useful, the memory should fulfil these three conditions:
- It must be a time where you were completely happy with yourself, in your best health
- You must be pleased with what surrounds you
- You must be looking forward to what would happen next
For example, you could recall the first day of school holidays; a holiday by the sea; your birthday when you were waiting for your friends to arrive and celebrate together — there are no restrictions of the content, as long as all three above conditions are met.
While in that state, ask your question again. Visualise making different choices and observe how you feel. The choices that are wrong for you will give you a feeling of cold, heaviness, discomfort or will make your heart sink. The right choices will give you a feeling of warmth or lightness, a deeply felt sense of relief. If the required decision is outside of your comfort zone, you may experience a level of discomfort — but this will be a very different feeling from the negative choice. If the discomfort is mixed with relief and excitement, it means that by accepting the challenge you may help yourself grow.
Stay clear of the paths that give you a sinking or suffocating feeling, no matter how attractive they may look on the outside. You will always be safer and more effective if you follow the voice of your heart. Remember, your heart knows what your head does not.
In the Exemplary State, you access directly the wisdom of your Emotional Mind, and bypass the beliefs and limitations that your Conscious Mind may be holding onto.
It may happen, however, that you may misread or misinterpret what your heart is telling you, or the dark temptation may be too strong. A warrior is a living person, not some abstract angelic being. Despite trying his best, the warrior may find himself taking the wrong turn. The wrong decision can be recognised by its emotional pattern. At first, you may feel happy or even euphoric yielding into the temptation and enjoying its promised benefits. The tension of the previous struggle has gone away now that there’s nothing to resist anymore.
Very soon though, inner pain will stay building up in you, day after day. Your true essence will oppose the choice you’ve made and your effort to suppress its voice will bring about an internal war. The more you’ll try to silence it, the stronger it will become. That pain may soar to unspeakable levels, making you live in real agony. At that point, the thing you’ve traded your integrity for loses its value and you may feel like you’re trapped in a reality of a nightmare. This state may trigger self-hate and self-destructive tendencies and push the warrior towards the Shadow. Those who resist the pull of darkness will stay frozen in limbo between true life and death, unable to fight or create their lives consciously.
This is why it is very important to realise you’ve made a mistake as soon as possible and be honest with yourself. When you’re doing your best every day, making an accidental slip will only help you see your truth more clearly and become stronger in your loyalty to the Light. Just like in a swordfight training, your mistakes highlight your weak points and the lack of knowledge that you should address. If you watch and listen, they can be excellent teachers.
If you’ve made a mistake, we willing to forgive yourself, lest your reality will shift to reflect your desire for self-punishment. Remember that while busy punishing yourself, you’re stealing your own time when you could be helping the world, and so the world suffers from your negligence.
Never allow the pride and stubbornness of your ego lead you to the place of agony. After realising your mistake, be quick to change your course. There is no dishonour in honestly admitting that you were wrong. Quite the reverse, cultivating honestly and humbleness will bring you respect from your brothers. Do what you need to do to redeem yourself and put things right. Allow your connection with the Light to grow even stronger. Resolve to rid of the weakness that caused your downfall so it may never happen again.
Originally published at ARIYA Mind Training.
