Who’s gonna date a girl with an eating disorder? Who’s gonna love a girl who’s killing herself?

Photo by frame_media (Unsplash.com)

I sat across from my therapist, arms folded over my chest and spoke with a frustrated yet heartbroken tone of voice. I wondered how on earth someone could love me; despite how deeply I longed for a relationship, what person out there would spend their time loving a girl who starves herself to (almost) death? It didn’t make sense. It doesn’t make sense.

The short answer to the question, “Can girls with eating disorders have a love life?” is, yes.

It can go a variety of ways, though. Perhaps the relationship will cause you more stress, more frustration, more self-consciousness…


We hope you understand us.

Photo by free stocks (Unsplash.com)

When you try to take me on a spontaneous date that throws off my routine, I may accidentally come off as irritable or annoyed with you.

I hope you understand that it’s not you I’m frustrated with — it’s a voice in my head screaming that it feels incredibly uncomfortable not doing what I normally do at 6:30 pm on a Saturday night.

It’s really very thoughtful of you to take me out to my favorite restaurant (or fast food place!) and take a walk through the park at sunset. …


A topic I have wrestled with so many times, one I’m still trying to defeat. Let’s take a look at loving ourselves when we honestly, just don’t.

Photo by anniespratt (Unsplash)

“I’m so stupid”, “Why can’t I do anything right?”, “I look so ugly”, “If I wasn’t so dumb, maybe I wouldn’t have forgotten that”.

These are phrases you might say about yourself, almost without even realizing it at times. Whether it’s in our heads or said out loud, it still reveals something about the way we see ourselves and who we believe we are. Our brain will also process those thoughts or statements as incoming information, even though we are the ones talking.

Avoiding saying phrases like these is one of the first ways we can start loving ourselves better…


It’s not as complicated as it seems

Photo by adityaries (Unsplash.com)

The moment you find out you got 2nd or 3rd place. The day when your boyfriend or girlfriend breaks up with you after you fought so hard to keep the relationship alive. The friendship that faded away even when you gave it your all. These are the times when we can struggle with a truth that is incredibly hard to swallow. Your best wasn’t good enough.

Try telling that to someone who has perfectionistic tendencies or rarely ever loses. It’s not going to feel like a slap in the face — it’s going to feel like a brick to the…


Another installment in a mental health series on anxiety, depression, eating disorders and OCD.

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

“She’s so skinny, she’s like — anorexic”, “she has no meat on her bones”, “you could use a cheeseburger, honey”, “she has so much self-control, I could never do that”, “is being skinny that important to you?” Ever heard these comments? Ever said or thought these comments? Well, for someone who actually has an eating disorder, these words are like a knife. Eating disorders are one of the most misunderstood mental illnesses out there. So, let’s start talking about what anorexia really is.

There is a lot of psychology and neuroscience behind why eating disorders are so insidious. If you…


Another installment in a mental health series on eating disorders, anxiety, depression, and OCD.

Photo by Carolinahdzz on Unsplash

If there is one way to make life hard for someone with OCD, it’s by messing with their routine. That is exactly what this virus and quarantine have done to everyone. So, how do you survive an already stressful pandemic on top of mental illness torture? This — this is the question we need to find a good answer to.

OCD is not the same for everyone, which makes it very easy to be misunderstood. OCD is commonly found in people with eating disorders, which is where my experience has come from. Workout routines (specific amounts of time, specific methods…


The thing about movement tracking devices we don’t hear enough of.

The second installment in a mental health series on eating disorders, anxiety and OCD.

Photo by andrewtanglao on Unsplash

Movement trackers are all the rage these days. People can hit their “stand goal” or “move goal”, you can track your performance during a workout in new ways and so much more. In theory, it’s an ingenious concept and design. One aspect that is seldom talked about, though, is how these devices can be detrimental to someone with an invisible illness.

It’s 10:13 pm on Tuesday night. I should be asleep, but instead I’m quietly pacing my bedroom floor trying to complete the same number of…


First installment of a mental health series on eating disorders, depression, anxiety and OCD.

Photo by brookelark (Unsplash)

As I write this, I’m eating breakfast. Something I enjoy and am not afraid of. This was once impossible for me. Last night I went with my family to get dinner at one of the most frightening restaurants I knew of a few years ago. I laid down in the sun today and yesterday I took a nap. All of these things were once impossible for me. All of these things were once something I never thought I could do again.

I used to be normal. I was once a kid who loved having breakfast at a diner with her…

Arizona James

Trying to find a way to express the madness in my brain through words that make you feel something. I know I’m not the only one.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store