In Love with Ghosts

The first thing I notice when looking at myself in the mirror is the ghost that always stands by my side.

The second thing I notice is my glance; it’s very quick and evasive. I don’t mean to be like that with myself, and I wonder at the same time if I am like that with everyone.

I believe I’m deterring attention from myself and throwing it at the ghost. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t enjoy attention either.

That’s probably why he wails at night, he gets angry at me. Sometimes his grave-deep moaning wakes me at three a.m. The only way he’ll allow me to sleep is getting naked and allowing him inside the covers with me. It takes a while to get used to the cold, but I admit his embrace is cozy, like skinny dipping in the lake at midnight for the first time and feeling the rush of daring.

The third thing I notice in the mirror are the black marks he often leaves on my skin. You can’t love ghosts and cling onto life at the same time. Soon, I’ll be dead like him, and he will leave me for someone warmer. I’m ok with that, I’ll find my own life too.