The Story of My First Thrill

Thrill — Frisson

The first time I felt the thrill I was ten years old. It was not the type of thrill you get when you get to the top of the trampoline and realize “darn… I’m really gonna do this…”. No, that one came later. This thrill was something more delicate. This thrill resembles the silence following the music.

I was at swimming lessons at the time. It was a rainy afternoon. My instructor was helping another girl with her leg position. Rain, sun tan and chlorine filled my nostrils.

I had just finished doing my laps, I remember they were twenty, and I was emptied of all strength. I stood for a moment at the steps that led out of the pool, the big pool, not the kiddy pool, I was pretty proud of that. By then, at my short age, I was pretty proud of a lot of things, among them being bilingual and being somewhat good at synchronized swimming. I was set to go to national competitions in two years and working hard for it.

What I wasn’t proud of was my belly. I considered myself fat, and ugly, but mostly fat. I had renounced any possibilities of boys liking me, not due to my young age, but to my big childish belly. There was a girl with me who was fatter, and uglier, I was thankful for that.

That rainy afternoon, as I stood on the steps, always with half my body under water, since my family had decided I could use a bikini –I had early boobs I wasn’t comfortable with either- and I didn’t want my big belly waddling around, especially when there was a large group of blond tourists sitting nearby… As I said, that afternoon, there was another girl with us. She didn’t seem to be in the class, but was swimming alongside us.

Somehow I knew that girl was fifteen, that fantastic princess age. I didn’t get to see her body, and if I did I don’t remember it. All I know is there was a coral air about her, she had brown hair like me, but somehow hers was prettier.

She was beautiful, but not in the normal way. Her features were pleasant. A sorrowful beauty bathed her like the very water we swam in. I stared at her, I couldn’t help it. She noticed and smiled back, a lovely sorrowful smile, and she touched my face with the back of her hand, so softly.

Then she glanced sideways, and so did I. There was a huge dog sniffing my head only an inch away. She was laughing tenderly at the event.

I never saw her again, but I remember the electricity running up my spine. I was filled with such gratitude at this beautiful water princess who had touched me so sweetly, without even knowing me. I think I still am.